Another Corner Turned for Old Sam

We've turned yet another corner with Doris's boy, known to us as Old Sam. He had a really restless night. I was up every hour or so with him because he was stumbling around and whining. I kept trying to help him find a place that he would find comfortable but I couldn't. Finally at about 4 o'clock this morning I sat on the floor with him, with his head in my lap, petting him and he finally went to sleep. I have to say, it was a sweet and tender moment with him. It was so quiet and peaceful in the house with the only light coming from small nighttime lamp on the mantel and the only sound was the tinkling coming from the wind chime on the front porch. I stayed there with him for a long time (then my behind started falling asleep) and I went to bed. The other dogs let me sleep until 6:30 and Sam was still fast asleep when I checked on him.

This morning when I let him out, I could see that there was a lot of dark red blood in his urine. He has also refused breakfast and water. I don't know what all of this means but I do know that it means that I can't let him continue to much more, especially if he's in pain.

The old wound in my heart has once again been opened and the lump in my throat has returned because I know that Sam's time is close. I know some of you may think that because I've traveled this road several times, and because I've only had Sam a couple of months that this decision may be an easy one. I can tell you that it's not. I take my responsibility as caretaker of these precious old dogs very seriously, and the choice to let them go, never, ever comes easily or quickly for me.