Saturday, April 13, 2013

Where the Violets Bloom

There are simply no words to express my heartfelt thanks for the kind words you have left here on my blog and on facebook for the unexpected loss of Lucas.  Knowing so many around the world are sharing his loss has provided much comfort  The words for a tribute to Lucas, still won't come, but in time they will.  Thursday was a sleepless night and Friday was spent rewinding the events that led to his loss and remembering him. In the end, letting him go was the only decision that could be made.  But in my heart and mind (and in your comments) I have found needed reassurance and have no doubt that his time with us was one of contentment and happiness for him that he showed in many ways.
I overslept on Friday morning and was late to work on rainy and dreary morning that reflected my mood.  I felt like I was in merely going through the motions--Even though I was reminded that life continues; I'm needed despite my wanting the world to stop if only for a little while.  To the vet with 3 of the girls.  Sheba is still trying to get over a bad ear infection, Annie needed a check up. Cissy's skin is very  much improved; the blood work taken will tell us the rest of the story.
Home again to a peaceful evening.  The earlier storms had passed and so after the dogs were given their dinner I spent some time outside with them.  I stood at the fence lost in thought as the pangs of Lucas's loss came again when I noticed the spot in the yard where Todd and Lucas dug a hole a few days ago.  My eyes went to the sunny place place that Lucas used to like to lay to soak up the sun.  I noticed wild violets were blooming there.  Perhaps it was the searched for reassurance and 'sign' that all was okay.  I know that with time, I will be too.


**Footnote of the events that led to the decision to let Lucas go:
Lucas's having laryngeal paralysis was confirmed during the first surgery to remove his teeth, and it became the chief concern during the two subsequent surgeries he would have. Many dog owners know about this, but for those who don't, in the normal respiratory cycle when inhalation occurs a laryngeal muscle contracts and opens the airway. Laryngeal paralysis does not allow this to happen and dogs like Lucas have to inhale against an obstructed airway. That airway became totally obstructed making it very, very difficult and nearly impossible for Lucas to breathe on his own. Treatment after more than 12 hours should have helped, but sadly it was ineffective.  The decision to let Lucas go was made with the help of a kind, caring and compassionate vet who I met last year when she and her family adopted from the rescue.


  1. The violets reminded me of how horrible Lucas's life would have been if he were roaming the streets with this health problem and not being cared for by his then owner. What a blessing for him to have found you, to have been so very well taken care of in his last year. You know that all he remembered was the care and love you gave to him.

  2. Surely the violets were just for you. To help offer that comfort.

  3. I'm still sorting thru the events of last summer that led to Samba and Sky's deaths. I keep going over and over things to find something I should have noticed or something I could have done. It takes time and sometimes the questions never go away. The rest of the pack will help you come to terms with the decisions. And we're all here for you.

  4. I just love your giving open heart
    brave heart
    The world needs more women and men who will step up
    and bless the animals of this world with kindness and care
    and above all a loving home
    and you do that in spades my dear dear blogger friend
    beloved Lucas rest

  5. Kim, My heart still hurts for you; sadness can be so overwhelming during times of grief. I think, for me, I grieve more and openly when losing a dog; with family I tend to hold it all inside.
    My thoughts and love go out to you now.
    Be kind to yourself and let the pups love up on you!

  6. Breaks my heart to know you are going through this allover again, but only time will heal the heart. Know that my prayers are with you. Beautiful violets.
    TFS your touching story of your adopted babies.

  7. As in all of your beloved dogs deaths it only reminds us of what a harsh world it is. I think knowing that most, if not all of of your rescues had a hard life that hurts us to our core. Please take comfort in knowing that the last years of their life not only was their physical health improved, but most importantly they knew and felt love. This allowed their natural personalities to emerge. What a remarkable gift you have given to ALL of your sweet babies.
    We were never meant to experience death. That is why it hurts us so badly. There is a sense of justice in our souls that makes the injustice of mistreatment of animals and what they have to endure almost unbearable. But please know that our creator sees all of of the love and care you and Carl give to your wonderful dogs and CC and it makes him glad. The violets have to be a sign! I remember you mentioning other things like that you have seen after other deaths. It can't be coincidence.
    Love and warm hugs to all.
    Gus's Mom

  8. Kim, you did right for dear Lucas. As an Internet follower, (I) we, are almost disconnected from what is happening in your world, but through the internet somehow we are a part of it. This follower has been sitting here weeping buckets as she reads about Lucas (and your other dear friends who have passed over the rainbow bridge). We, any of us, can only do what is best at the time even when that decision is difficult. You are both special people looking after these special pets. Please give them all a hug from me.

  9. So heartfelt Kim.....crying as I read your post once again.....I love Violets, how sweet to see them grow where Lucas lay, so touching.....May you find comfort knowing Lucas now is free of pain and playing with all the other furry faces at Rainbow did all you could do to make that beautiful boy happy in his later years....Big Hugs Francine.

  10. We might never meet, but through our blogs we share and care so much. Dear Lucas, you gave him a year of love, care and tenderness, and words will come in time. Fond greetings, Jean.

  11. Time does indeed seem to heal although never completely does it. Hope you are taking care of yourself Kim. Sending lots of love and hugs!
    xo Catherine

  12. you knew how I felt about him from the beginning. I rejoiced when you decided to keep him.
    just think kim. how he would have died a horrible painful and frightening death on a busy inner city street ~ if he hadn't been hit by a car that is.
    instead he knew great love and care in the last year of his little life. and he died calmly.
    you did good.
    as you always do.
    all my love,
    tammy j

  13. I'm so sorry that Lucas has left you. He was in the best place with you for love and care. Sleep well, Lucas.

  14. The violets are certainly a reminder that every ending is a beginning..

  15. Do you think Mother Nature knows how to take care of her own , then leave us signs that all is good!

    The Mad Scots

  16. His love for you lingers on. He will never leave you.

  17. Oh, Kim...I am so very sorry for your loss.
    xo, misha

  18. I can't call that anything other than a divine gift. I find it tremendously moving and spiritual.

  19. Kim I am so sorry to read about Lucas. I admire your strength that you must have to be able to face this kind of loss over and over. You are a hero to these 4-legged children and you have given them the best life.

    So sorry again...


  20. It's always a tough many ideas of could we do more. So heartbroken with you....have had to make that decision several times.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  21. Loving owners and compassionate vets. The ability to know when it's time. If only all dogs were so cared for as Lucas .

  22. You did the right thing, the compassionate thing...

    It doesn't make it any easier, my peep knows that.


  23. I can feel your pain Kim. I know Lucas is happy now. He is out of pain and distress,, he can breath!!! He is happy!!! That is what I keep telling myself about Zoie !!! She is happy she can run to her heart content!!!

  24. You will get there Kim but, as you know so well now, it does take time. You're a star. Thank goodness for you. x

  25. Oh Kim, I'm so sorry I missed your last post about Lucas. We offer our sincere sympathy on the loss of your dear Lucas. He was loved and gave you love in return and that is what we all wish for. Hugs to you all. So very sorry. No worries, and love, Carol (and Stella and Rory)

  26. Such beautiful words to remember such a beautiful boy. I'm so sorry.

  27. The time Lucas had with your family and the other animals was happy - that's the important part. Meeting someone who cared like you was what he deserved. Time heals, we know. Very sorry Kim. Joy

  28. Kim,
    Just got to reading this. Please accept our sincere sympathy. Lucas was a beautiful old soul, I hope he has met our Sophie.
    God Bless you for all you do for Rescue and especially the seniors in need.

    Hamish & Emma

  29. It is so hard when we have to let them go. The only comfort I find is that you gave him the best year of his life and in the end the best gift you could give. You didn't let him suffer.

    God Speed Lucas and giant hugs for you amazing friend.

  30. Kim
    You gave him the chance to live - his best times were with you - and you gave him peace when he needed it the most.

    Hugs & licks
    Nadine & goldens Neeli & Elle


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