Monday, March 6, 2017

Who Stays and Who Goes?

Our trip to Tennessee could not have been any better.
Todd, Josh, Jake, Charlie and I, ALL ate too much of all the wrong things, stayed up late, and slept in.  I could have used one more day to top off my inner-gas-tank.  And Todd would have loved one more day to bark at whatever was in the pasture. But I had to be back to work on Tuesday. 
I brought back 4 exhausted dogs that slept the whole way home.

I was just barely home on Monday when I got a call from the SPCA about our foster-kitty Mo that left us about 3 weeks ago.  He and the cat that he was partnered with were not getting along with the dogs in their new home, and the family wanted to return them both.  I was asked if we would take Mo back. Of course I agreed, and I picked him up on Tuesday evening.  I opened the crate, and with no hesitation at all, and a quick sniff from the dogs, Mo was home.  This is the second time a family hasn't worked for Mo, so I'm wondering if fate is trying to tell us that he belongs here with us.  

And speaking of fate....  Before I left on my trip I'd been discussing Jake with the rescue.  He's been available for adoption on the website for about a year.  At about 13 years old, I felt that he should be taken off the "available-dog-list" and stay with us.  The rescue was unwilling to let Jake remain a "foster dog."  I talked to Carl about it, and let the rescue know that we would go ahead and adopt Jake.  I know what you're thinking..... Given how much Jake means to us, we should have decided to do that long before now.  I'm regretting not doing that.  Because literally, out of nowhere a couple applied to adopt Jake.  To say that I was stunned is an understatement.
A whole range of emotions followed because even though the policy of the rescue is to allow foster homes to decide who adopts their foster dogs. I was asked (by the rescue) to put our adopting Jake aside and seriously consider them.  The reasons for their suggestion was because Jake could receive more individual attention than we're able to give him because we're a multi-dog household. For whatever reason, that now has me doubting myself and the care I can and do provide for him, and the other dogs too.

I'd hoped when I was in Tennessee that maybe I'd feel better about the situation, and perhaps letting go of Jake.  And I'd hoped meeting them yesterday would give me that moment of clarity and I would know what to do.  However it didn't.  They are a nice couple and certainly more than able to give Jake a good home.  But just where he will spend the rest of his life, and who will write the final chapter of his life, right now, is a really tough mystery to solve.

33 comments:

  1. If only life was an easy ride for us all, I hope for you that Jake will be happy and so well cared for if he moves, and if he stays, he will always be that.

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  2. No Kim, don't ever doubt the love, care, and security, you give to all the beautiful dogs who pass your way. No one could do more than you do. You have given Jake so much commitment since he's been with you, and he always looks so happy. I do hope that the rescue will listen to you, and allow Jake to stay with you, where he belongs.

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  3. Hello, I am so glad your trip was good for you and the dogs. Wow, sorry about the Jake situation. I think Jake is used to being with you and the other dogs, would it be good for him to leave now? On the other hand being the only dog in the family could be a good thing. I am no help. I hope you can come up with the right decision. HUGS! Happy Monday, enjoy your day and the new week ahead!

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  4. Jake should stay with you. He's been with you and is part of your family for over a year now. Sending him somewhere else will be too upsetting for him. You take excellent care of every dog you have no matter how long they are with you. Its not easy taking care of multiple dogs (I have 5) but you do tremendous work. Don't ever doubt that. Your home is Jake's home for the rest of his life.

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  5. Oh want a tuff decision!!!! I nose you will make the right choice fur you and Jake 'cos you are a very special peep butt tell me...is Jake happy and enjoying himself with you??? And are there lots of other dogs that could be adopted by these peeps????
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  6. Jake belongs with you - regardless that you're a multi-pet household. And more so since you didn't get that "feel" that the couple was the right one. At 13, he doesn't need confusion - he needs his family. Hugs, Nadine & goldens Neeli & Elle

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  7. I think you should not doubt the power of 'the collective'. I have three dogs and certainly, our attention is shared between them BUT they derive an enormous amount from the close companionship of their own kind. I am sure that my toothless, deaf, arthritic, contrary old girl draws some of her strength from the other dogs. They complement each other.

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  8. I love your blog, but have never commented. No question in my mind, keep Jake. You love him now, and he is content and happy.

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  9. I know that whatever you and the rescue decide for Jake, he will spend his final years being loved. Hugs that you must make this difficult decision.

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  10. You have more comings and goings than Grand Central Station.

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  11. i cannot believe that after working with you all these years those rescue people DO NOT know you any better than they do! it's ridiculous to me.
    if ever these dogs and kitties got individual care and love ... it's from YOU!
    and it always hurts me... that just as they have found a home and a "pack" that they enjoy... the rescue thinks they should be jerked up once again and given to complete strangers... however nice they may be.
    for younger who haven't had such a tough life... maybe that's the way to go. but just like older people would be... they don't want always new and strange. they want HOME.
    and little mo! though not old he must wonder why he keeps being given away! LOLOL! maybe like a two year old human... he "acts out" knowing he'll be returned!
    don't spend one minute beating yourself up darling bean. XOXOXO♥ maybe the rescue should read your blog!
    they obviously NEED TO.

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  12. I don't pretend to have all the answers but I've learned over the years to trust my instincts and if in doubt, don't do it. In this case Jake would stay with you. Don't second guess the care and love you give your pack and remember they are social animals and enjoy being part of a group.

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  13. Being a foster parent is a tough job and the decisions you have to make, well my mom couldn't do it. God gives us our callings but sometimes it comes with great pain but mostly with fulfillment. Good luck with your decision, I know it will be the right one.

    Aroo to you,
    Sully

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  14. OMD!You give so much and we don't know how the rescue could doubt that Jake has just what he needs with you. Since you had already let your intentions known - they should honor that.
    Please don't make your decision because they made you doubt yourself, we all know how much you do for all your furbabies
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

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  15. So hard to decide where Jake needs to spend his twilight years. Must be so hard to part with the fosters no matter where they go. Glad Tennessee was a great break.

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  16. I am secretly happy to see Mo back because I look forward to seeing his picture, but I am sorry his adoption fell through. I have 4 dogs, they all get great care and there is no doubt that you give Jake fantastic care. Go with your gut, keep him.

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  17. So glad that you enjoyed your time away. Tough call with Jake, but we have to think that at this stage of his life, Jake should stay with you. Why put him through another big adjustment when he is obviously so happy where he is?

    Woos - Lightning and Misty

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  18. Don't doubt yourself Jake is well taken care of and feels secure with your love, a feeling of being home and belonging is one of the most important parts of care and you give that in spades. Jake believes he's home and at this stage in life he does not deserve any upheavel.
    Love all you do for those darling dogs and cat.
    Wishing you all the best.
    Love Margo
    Love and best wishes sent your way

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  19. Kim, for what it's worth, my instinct says keep Jake at home with you. And as for Mo, I'm not at all surprised and think he's home, too. I'm wishing you courage and clear thinking as you make decisions.

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  20. Me again. I think what troubles me about giving up Jake (besides the great loss you would feel) is that Jake, at his age, would feel bewildered. He is so at home with you and his four-footed friends. The new home, while probably very fine, is perhaps too much to ask of him.

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  21. I agree with all the comments above that it would be better for Jake to stay with you rather than have to go through another adjustment at this stage in his life. Did you ever think that the rescue said what they did so you could take another foster if Jake was adopted? Don't doubt the care you give your fosters. We all know they get A+ care at your home.

    It would seem that Mo also should be made a full member of the family too. It's good that he was so comfortable when he came home and it was like he never left.

    Cindy

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  22. Having just lost a 13 year old golden, maybe Jake is exactly what that couple needs right now. But I know it is hard to let him go

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  23. Oh my . . .
    with all of me . . .
    I think Jake wants to be with you . . .
    and I think you and Carl want him too . . .
    Some things we know
    Some thing we don't know.
    When we know though . . . we know.

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  24. At age 13, Jake should be around those who have loved and taken care of him. A new home could confuse him and not give him the comfort he has found at Golden Pines. He should not have to adjust again to a new environment. I can't see how he would be better off any place else.

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  25. Nothing beats a 'gut' feeling.

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  26. I have no sage bits of advice. However, I do have infinite faith in you and your ability to know what is right and then to do it. Trust yourself as much as I do and I know you will do whatever is best for Jake and all concerned whether that is staying with you or going to another home.

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  27. I am glad that you had your trip to recharge before having to decide about Jake. Please don't doubt yourself. You provide tremendous care and love to all the animals in your family. I know that you'll do what's best for Jake because I've seen you selflessly make wonderful decisions for the animals in your care many times. Hugs to you.

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  28. Morning Kim, so happy you all recharged, we all need that.... I know you will do the best for Jake, you are an Angel and my hero. Hugs Francine.

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  29. NOOO... Jake is yours. Nobody can give him a better home. He is settled. He is loved. He could NOT receive better care. And he would miss all of his animal friends and his home where he is doing well. I know that he gets every bit as much care as he would in a single dog home. And wouldn't he miss the activity? Jake is yours. It would be unfair to him to uproot him.
    Never ever, second guess the love and care your babies get. No one is ever neglected or has to vie for love. Just the opposite. They receive more carefully thought out physical and emotional love than many other homes.
    Jake is home,
    Gus' Mom

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  30. All your dogs are loved so much and have all the attention and care they need. In my opinion I think that Jake should stay put at his age and that the risk of him missing you and taking a long while to settle in is too great. Don't ever doubt yourself; what you give to all the animals in your care is just amazing xxx

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  31. Keep them both and hug that man of yours. He's a keeper

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Speak--I really enjoy your comments! Thanks for stopping by today!!