Friday, May 24, 2019

Good-Bye to Not Just Another Dog


A co-worker said to me yesterday that she didn't understand how Cissy was not just another dog for us because there have been and are so many. Trying to explain to a non-animal lover that she was wrong and that I considered Cissy one of "my girls" and a canine sister was impossible to articulate. But it didn't matter, Cissy knew that. Cissy knew that she held a unique position in or household because the rules didn't really apply to her. She also had to know that she was the only dog that never had an "assigned" place to eat. Her bowl was always brought to wherever she happened to be at mealtimes.

Cissy was fiercely independent and opinionated and I let her decide the pace of her life and do what she wanted.  She was happy with that arrangement.  She had let us know early on that she didn't want to be let out into the fenced yard. Cissy instead preferred to wander around outside the fence. She always walked the same little route, and when she was ready to come back inside, she let us know. 

Cissy also didn't like to be brushed or be fussed over, so I just did what she would tolerate.  It almost seems like neglect, but she always seemed happy and content, which made me feel okay that her nails didn't get trimmed as much as they should have.

Despite that independent nature, the last few weeks, there seemed to be a frailty to Cissy as her pace started to slow and she needed our help on the steps and getting to her feet a little more. In those slower and quiet moments with Cissy, even though I tried to ignore it, the whisper that her time was coming to an end came to my mind and heart more than once. She also began her days earlier and she would come to the bedside and start barking at me and hurry off after I acknowledged her.

Cissy really was really a vocal dog and from wherever she was in the house she'd let me know that she knew I was home or that she was ready for her dinner. Of course I'd always say something back to her and let her know I'd heard her. My favorite had to be the times when Cissy would stand at the office door, or wherever we happened to be, take a look around, bark once or twice, and then totter back to her spot and lay down. 

I'd always thought of Cissy's life as being two totally different volumes because I didn't know anything about her life before she came to us from a Virginia shelter. At the time we thought Cissy was around 12 years old. But looking back at it, I guess she had to be around 8. Whatever her age, Cissy was truly a shell of a dog when we met and initially there was a lot of uncertainty about what was ahead for her.
~Cissy, 3-23-13 -- The day we met~
But despite all of that, Cissy surprised all of us and her big personality blossomed and she regained her health.

During the second volume of her life with us, there are so many of the best memories wrapped up into the 6 years we shared together. The video below made just after she came to us, and so many other things are what I don't want to forget about this beautiful girl who I said goodbye to today.

Like anyone who has lost a four-legged-family member, or really anyone who has a heart, you know how hard this is... not just because of Cissy being a loyal friend, but because she represented a time in our journey through life, who made me smile every day, who I had a strong connection with and who always lifted my spirits. I have truly lost another piece of my heart and I am keeping those memories of Cissy in what's left of it.

God speed to you Cissy ...  Cissy Miss... girly-girl.... My pretty girl .... Big girl....  You will be greatly missed and remembered. Our house seems lonelier and quieter without you. And a candle is lit to help you find your way back to the one who created you. I know there will be quite a welcome for you there, and I so look forward to the day when I'll see you again. 

Finally some of you may remember that I've started giving a color to our dogs that pass to create our own rainbow. I thought I had one for Cissy. But as I wrote this post and thought about it, for whatever reason, it just seemed all wrong. I am sure that in the days to come and as I grieve over her loss, I know one will come.


29 comments:

  1. Go in peace Cissy. Hugs to you Kim and Carl.

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  2. A darling girl, Cissy, you were so loved and will be SO missed. Never " just another", each one has that special place in your home and in both your hearts.A huge gap, but with love for each one, slowly that hole in your heart will fill again. Heaps of Hugs from NZ.XXX

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  3. So very sorry to read that you have lost yet another of your beautiful furry family. What a special girl Cissy was, Kim. I know how you must feel - I still miss my beautiful Lab., Petite Chose, even though I have lovely Inca to console me. No matter how often you lose a beloved pet, it never gets any easier.
    May happy memories ease the pain of parting, and may Cissy find many familiar loving faces waiting to greet her at the Rainbow Bridge.

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  4. RIP dear Cissy! Lovely tribute post, Cissy was a special dog, very pretty. I still miss all my dogs, it is hard letting go. HUGS!!!

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  5. Sweet, sweet Cissy. Thank you Kim for caring for her & loving her & making her last years good.

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  6. My tears are for two beautiful souls today, you and Cissy.

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  7. Although most of the dogs with whom we've shared our household have been goldens and all share some aspects of the lovely golden characteristics, they're also each unique. We've had a couple of "talkers" and "free thinkers." While they present their challenges, they also touch your heart in a special way, too. I know Cissy will be deeply missed. As usual, thank you for willingly taking on this pain on behalf of the dogs who need you.

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  8. my heart to yours dear one. it just seemed that she would always be there with you. you know? kinda like Charlie.
    the dear lady above...at Starting Over...says it for me too.
    sending love to you. xo

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  9. We're so sorry to read this news about Cissy. She was so lucky to have found you and you were lucky to have such a special girl in your life too. We send warm hugs and gentle licks to comfort you all at this time.

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  10. People who are not dog people may never understand that a dog is just never another dog. They are family. I thought you could only have one heart dog but I have had two so far and I think that I may have a third. Each one leaves a pawprint on your heart and my heart is not my heart anymore, it is all pawprints and I am grateful for each life I have gotten to share. You are a special lady taking them in when they are older knowing their time is limited. I think sometimes that makes it more special because they know someone really cared.

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  11. Oh Kim, I am so sorry. I lost both Sebastian and Noah this week and it's almost more than I can bear. This morning I discovered that my little budgie Norris died overnight. My house is way too quiet and the joy is missing.

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  12. Are you certain that Cissy wasn't a terrier?

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  13. We're sorry to hear about your Cissy. We know how hard it is to lose a cherished doggie.

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  14. Such a beautifully said farewell. As always, I cry while I read your words and feel the pain of loss remembering my own favorite pal Ginger/Gingy-Pingy who left me in '91 and I've not healed yet. Sometimes I think you are a saint for your work with these precious souls, but then I realize the joy these dear ones bring to you too. Be blessed today and always. You have my heart today.

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  15. Cissy sounds like she was quite the communicator and you listened and acknowledged her. That is pure unconditional love.

    What a beautiful gift to share between you and your girl. So sorry she is gone, but her spirit will never die.

    Beautiful post.

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  16. Kim, I'm so sorry. Take comfort in knowing that you gave Cissy a wonderful life. Sending hugs...
    ♥♥♥♥♥

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  17. We all understand so very well exactly what you mean. Cissy was blessed to have you. Soft woos and gentle hugs.

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber and Mom

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  18. A blessing for you and Cissy you were able to have six years together. Sending lots of pug hugs
    Mabel & Mom

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  19. Non animal people just don't get it. But we do. Thinking of you and sending light and love your direction.

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  20. I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely Cissy.

    At the same time I'm thankful and grateful for her 6 years with you.

    I get that kind of co-worker stuff all the time with people who haven't owned chickens. No, it is not just another chicken, it is my much loved pet. :/

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  21. Oh Kim. What a wonderful, larger-than-life, force of nature Cissy was. I can see her strong spirit shining through in your photos, stories, and your video. You were perfect for her - not forcing her to fit into a mold but letting your expectations go so that she could be herself - and so happy. I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending love to you as you find your way after such sadness.

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  22. That last picture speaks a thousand words. Cissy was special, she knew her mind, she needed to live with someone who would respect that as you did. She loved you so much. Whatever happened to her before, she knew she found her special place when she came to live with you. I'm so glad she got to live with you for six years, for her sake and for yours also.

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  23. Words seem so inadequate, dear friend... but please know my heart grieves over your loss & I am very very sorry. Love, Andrea xoxo *gentle hugs*

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  24. Kim, although I've said this before to you, Cissy deserves it..."Grieve not nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and speak of me as if I were beside you...'twas Heaven here with you...I loved you so..."...JP

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  25. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I love how you let Cissy live life on her own terms, and can feel how much she must have appreciated that. The photos of her from when you first got her and later on say so much. She was a happy and well loved dog. Our hearts are with you, as we know you miss her so very much. xxoo
    Jan, Wag 'n Woof Pets

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  26. I keep losing my comments on your posts for some reason. So sorry about dear independent Cissy. She lived some very happy years because of an experienced and loving family. I have a friend who says her dog is really obedient just as long as you ask him to do something that suits him at the moment.

    I'll light my "doggie" candle this evening. One of many over the years that I keep and light when a friend's animal crosses the bridge. I'll glance at it now and then and think of you and Cissy, listening for her two barks. Godspeed dear girl.

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  27. Take some comfort in the fact that Cissy hasn't gone, she's just run on ahead. She has six years of love and joy and laughter to guide her on the way. Stay strong .

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  28. I havent been able to respond to your post Kim,, so many tears.,
    Your broken,,, and I am so sorry.
    What you wrote " a time in our journey through life", is so true, so beautiful... Cissy will never be forgotten,
    love
    tweedles

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Speak--I really enjoy your comments! Thanks for stopping by today!!