Sunday, October 20, 2019

After 9 Days - Good-Bye to Buddy

I don't know how to start this post. Other than with a much shorter version of what I wrote to the rescue when I told them that Buddy had passed away in the early hours of Sunday morning. The numbing, gut-punched feeling as I relive the events are consuming because my mind keeps going back to those moments and scrutinizing a timeline and moments that I cannot change. 
There had been nothing that gave us a hint that anything was wrong. It had been a normal and a good day for Buddy. It had ended with his spending time with us in the office, until he got restless around midnight, and I put him into the ex-pen that he was staying in at night. About an hour later, I turned out the lights and said good night to him. I can still hear the sound of his wagging tail as it hit the side of the ex-pen. I remember smiling. Not long after I'd gone to bed I was awakened by what sounded like Buddy scratching at the rug under the bed he was sleeping on, and bumping against the ex-pen. I'd told him "no" and it stopped for just a moment, but started again. I got out of bed, and for whatever reason, I noticed the time of 2:14.
When I turned on the light, I saw that Buddy was having a seizure. I sat with him, and when I thought the seizure would end, it began again. I know time is critical with seizures and I was keeping close track of how much time was passing. I had awakened Carl, and after about 10 minutes, I knew we had to get him to the animal emergency about 20 minutes away. We took turns staying with him as we quickly dressed and we were on our way. A blur of phone calls leaving messages for my contacts at the rescue and a call to the emergency vet along the way - Pleading prayers for safety on our drive to get there, and that Buddy would hang on, as Carl was with him in the back of my van.

The seizures only stopped as we rounded the corner to the animal emergency and as Buddy passed away at 3 AM.

I know the shock and the sting of this day will ease. But today, I've cried and slept for most of it. I'm still in shock and heartbroken because I cannot believe what happened. A reminder from the "logical side" of me and kind friends tell me that I couldn't have done anything differently. In my heart I know that. Maybe having that peace is Buddy's gift to me?

More than anything I wish it would have ended differently for Buddy. But the hopes and dreams I had for him of his finding a forever home was my dream, and not the one that was meant to be. How I wish more than anything that this easy going and always smiling boy could have stayed with us a little longer. How I wish I could have had the chance to get to know him better. How I wish I could do those 9 days with us all over again.

God speed Buddy. You were here for such a short time, and in those 9 short days, you found your very own place in our hearts.You will not be forgotten, and we hope tonight you are finding your way to the rainbow bridge where I hope to see you again.  

35 comments:

  1. I am soo sorry for your loss my friend , Buddy may have been there for a short time but I can bet it was the best time of his life with such a loving caring family .

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  2. How sad to lose Buddy so quickly and unexpectedly. His short time with you were good days for him.

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  3. You did everything you could. Not comforting now, but one day it will be. What a blessing Buddy wasn't in rescue and seized like he did. He was in your care...what better place to be. <3

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  4. That is so sad and un expected. But we know you did everything you could and he spent the last 9 days in comfort and love.

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  5. Tears as I read of Buddy. Such a short time, but full of love, and with a loving extended family. holding him until the end is the best for any doggie, and you did just that. Carl, bless you.He will be waiting, and will wag that tail again when you all meet up .XXXXX

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  6. Much love and *hugs* to you and yours.

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  7. So sorry for your loss, HUGS! I am sure the last days of Buddy's life were happy days. RIP Buddy.

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  8. What a beautiful, regal dog. And what a wonderful tribute. Anyone who has had a beloved pet knows the pain of goodbye. This too shall pass.

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  9. Kim, any words are so empty, our heartbreaks with yours. Godspeed Buddy, we will all meet again and what a glorious day that will be.
    The nine days he spent with you was heaven on earth, and we know all our fur kids that have gone before are welcoming Buddy.
    We are so very sorry.

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  10. We're so sad to read this news about Buddy. You gave Buddy the best during his time with you and we're sure he appreciated everything you did for him.

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  11. He had a wonderful and loving home with you and that is all you can wish for Buddy. Hugs and love for all that you do.

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  12. You and your crew gave Buddy a wonderful last 9 days and who could have known that was all the time he had left? It's heartbreaking he's gone, but you've nothing to regret but that he couldn't stay longer and go to his forever home for years to come. Sharing your tears.

    Hugs!

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  13. You were there with him at the end,that is what is important. He was not alone and will be forever in your heart.

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  14. it's all been said. and said so well. you know me darling bean.
    tears are streaming. and yet it could have been so much worse for buddy. he could have been alone in a cage in a shelter. or even worse. he was surrounded by your love and Carl's. his smiling face and wagging tail will be in your hearts forever.
    I pray for you to have strength for all that you do.
    BLESS YOU my darling girl! bless you real good. XO

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  15. We're so sorry about Buddy. Did he have prior health issues? We lost our Tess this morning so we know how you're feeling.

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  16. When I find the tissues and stop crying I will pray for blessings

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  17. I am so, so sorry for your loss. What a shock. Buddy knew he was loved for his last 9 days, and that you did all you could for him. ♥ Hugs.

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  18. I am so sad to hear this, Kim. That had to be so very, very stressful for you.

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  19. I can only echo the words of others here.
    You both did your very best for him, Kim, and could do no more. Even though he was with you for such a short time, take comfort in the fact that you gave him such contentment and happiness. Bless, him , he was such a beautiful boy.

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  20. Kim, I'm so sorry. Take comfort in knowing that you gave Buddy more love in 9 days than he probably experienced during his entire life. Run young and free again at the Bridge, sweet boy. ♥♥♥♥♥

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  21. Sorry for your pain Kim, I don’t know how you manage. You are stronger than I.

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  22. We'll see you on the other side of the bridge, friend. You found a special place to spend the last little bit of your time.

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  23. I wish I had the right words to ease your heart.
    sending you lots of pug hugs
    Mabel & Hilda

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  24. He had the most wonderful 9 days.

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  25. I'm so very sorry to read this. What a terrible shock. Take time to heal.
    Very best wishes, Gail.

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  26. I just don't know how you do it. I haven't blogged since my husband passed 19 months ago. You are such a wonderful person to give these dogs a loving home in which to pass.

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  27. Oh Kim. A great big hug to you, and a sad farewell to your Buddy. I am glad that he spent his last days surrounded by your love.

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  28. I can't see where you could do anything differently. He left being loved.

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  29. I'm so sorry. Buddy was happy to be with you if only for a short time. Dogs know when they are well cared for and loved. There is no better place than yours. Sending love to you.

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  30. Goodbye, handsome Buddy. I know your time at Golden Pines was lovely if too short. Hugs from me to all.

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  31. Somehow I missed this post. I am so sorry thngs ended this way. Ww have had dogs that died unexpectedly and dogs that died when we were thinking of easing them on. Unespectedly is worse. It was simply meant to be. And it is hard.

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  32. Oh Kim, this is heartbreaking news. Dear, dear Buddy . . . we all hoped that his story had many happy chapters yet to come. Just catching up with you and hoping that all is turning out well with Tanner and a big hurray for Ginger. Bless you, Kim; have good courage - you are much loved.

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  33. Poor Buddy. Last time I commented I'd said he was the luckiest dog in the world. In a way he was. Held and loved until the end.

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  34. He knew he was safe and loved, even for a short time. Perhaps that was your biggest gift to him, giving him peace. You know dogs, they love the one their with, especially loving people like you.

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