Saturday, May 22, 2010

A Candle For Maguire--But No Time to Grieve

When we started fostering the senior Goldens for the rescue almost 7 years ago, I knew that our time with them would be limited. But I felt strongly that these dogs that had been dealt a bad hand at the end of their lives, and who had so much wisdom, dignity and courage, should have a place to live out whatever time they had left, and leave this life with someone who truly cared about them. These Goldens have broken my heart when they left us. But I have never looked back and regretted for a moment taking in any of them, in fact, if given the chance, I would do it all over again. I feel that we have been given an extraordinary gift to love and be loved unconditionally in return. Maguire was no exception. I have no regrets in opening my heart and our home to him just a year and-a-half ago. While I've no idea what his life was like before he came to us, how old he was, or what his name had been, I know that the last part of his life, was one where he was cared for and loved. Letting him go today was a difficult choice. It was a lonely journey at times trying to decide what was best. But today, as I looked into Maguire's eyes and saw that love and the trust, my doubts left me, and I knew we had made the right choice and the best choice. I know that Maguire is now in a place where he can enjoy those things that he was no longer able to in this life. I have a candle lit to help him find his way, and I so hope he was met by our Goldens, Tod, Ben, Cougar, Tosh, Tucker, Scout, Kasey, Logan, Cubby and Cowboy and he has given them our message.

We left the vets office and decided to have a light lunch. As we sat there with Maguire's collar on the table, our waiter politely asked us about it. When we told him, he joined us in a toast to Maguire and our memories. Carl and I then had our lunch and recounted stories of him and the others that have gone before him.

We were feeling a bit uplifted although worn out and tired, and I was so looking forward to getting home and spending time with our other dogs. But it was not meant to be. When we got home, we found that one of the dogs had gotten sick several times while we were gone. We quickly realized it was Tanner, (our 13 year old Golden who was treated for glaucoma) and he was having difficulties standing and his eyes were moving side-to-side . Having had this happen with another senior Golden, I knew it was Geriatric Vestibular Syndrome. Off to the Animal Emergency Room. But not before I was stopped for speeding by one of Loudoun County's finest police officers...I quickly explained what my day had been and I opened the door to my van and showed him Tanner; I was off with a warning. I will spare you the details of my visit to the animal ER, and just say that Tanner is resting and has been given medications. It's hard to trust a vet that you've never met, but I am hoping and praying that we are on the right track and Tanner will be okay. How much more can my old and broken heart take?


Godspeed Maguire, my big handsome boy...

47 comments:

  1. so sorry for your rough day. my heart is breaking for you - tough trials indeed. praying for strength for you! hang in there.

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  2. Oh no...

    Paws crossed for Tanner to stabilise...

    Yes, I have the same memories of one on my rescued Sibes - I have no idea what Lady endured before we adopted her but we know that her years with us were the best years of her life -

    Maguire thanks you for giving him THAT gift - both the gift of life 'here' and now the gift of LOVE across The Rainbow Bridge -

    We'll light a candle for him tonight -

    And toast to his memories -

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra's Mom (and Khyra and Khousin Merdie too)

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  3. Oh Kim as I am sitting here at my computer with tears in my eyes, reading your post words escape me. Please know I am thinking of you and I am so sorry that you are going through such a sad time. I know that you will miss Maguire and I will pray that Tanner's recovery will be a speedy one.
    xoxox
    Mimi~

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  4. My Dear Kim,

    "They" say what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

    It's also said that the Lord doesn't give you more than you can handle.

    I grieve for you and your loss, the lovely soul of Maguire. You are one special person.

    Now with Tanner sick, I wish I could help ease your burden, and I am helpless. Special thoughts headed your way for both you and Tanner.

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  5. I have just returned home from working all day, and had to check on Maguire....
    I'm saddened that he is no longer on this earth, but know in my heart you have made the best choice for him.
    And so, I shall lift my glass, and light a candle, to speed you on your way across the Rainbow Bridge, reuniting with those who have gone ahead.
    RIP dear Maguire, you were loved dearly.
    Sorry to read about your difficult day Kim.
    Hugs,
    Jo

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  6. My heart is breaking for you. My Buddy had vestibular syndrome not long before he passed...you feel so helpless.

    I'm lighting a candle for both dogs right now. My prayers are with you.

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  7. What a day of emotions and energy, we are sure. Maguire's spirit is there, and Tanner is in good hands. Blessings to all of you!!

    Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
    Sierra Rose

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  8. When I got up this morning, I thought of the appointment you had made for Maguire and wondered.... I read the topic of your latest post and cried as if he was my own. In a sense, whe you love a golden or any pet, it is so easy to love them all. They are so dear.
    I do hope Tanner is going to be ok.
    Hugs to all,
    Sophie's Mom

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  9. Kim,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Lynn

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  10. Godspeed, Maguire, on your trip to the Bridge. And, thanks to you, Kim, for having the courage to do what was right for him, in spite of the hurt it left in you.

    I will pray tonight for Tanner and you.

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  11. My friend, I grieve with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart is still hurting from our loss so I understand your sadness. Hope your other Golden feels better soon. Bless you for caring.

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  12. Godspeed, Maguire. We will send our prayers for Tanner. I wish we could give you a hug in person, you really deserve it.

    Sam

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  13. Our hearts a breaking for you but we know that Maguire is running free and healthy at the Rainbow Bridge.
    God's Speed we will light a candle.
    We are praying for Tanner.
    God Bless you for all you do that these wonderful Golden's have a loving home.

    Sheila & Bob
    Mom & Dad to
    Hamish & Rescue Sophie

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  14. Dear Kim,
    We are thinking of you - an understatement -- and wishing we could do more. Your love and energy for Goldens is special beyond words.

    RIP sweet Maguire.

    Feel better real soon Tanner

    Take good care Kim and Carl,

    C.R.Golden

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  15. I am climbing up on the mantle to light a candle for Maguire. As I strike the match that lights the flame, I am closing my eyes for slight second.
    I think of Maguire.
    I think of you.
    The love that you and Carl had for Maguire was so unconditional. You never needed to ask questions- you have just always opened your home, and gave a safe haven.
    All these beloved have felt the love of a gentle voice and calming hand. Wonders they never felt before you opened your home.
    All these babies ever asked was that when it came "time", to follow through and let them go.
    The hardest thing to do on the face of the earth- and as your heart breaks one more time- there is a new star in the sky- and a welcoming at the Bridge.
    I light my candle for Macquire and your broken heart.
    I am so sorry
    love
    tweedles and georgie

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  16. RIP sweet Maguire...I am so sorry for your loss! xx

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  17. Oh, Kim - I don't know how you do what you do, but I'm sure glad the world has you in it. I'll spend tonight thinking of you and Maguire and the two cats I knew and loved who are now on the other side of that bridge. With a big hug from afar.

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  18. Tanner can get through this...is it peripheral vestibular? or central? peripheral he can manage...will take a couple days to adjust...(my Nelli has it)... when she has a "bout" the only thing i give her is meclizine...(motion sickness med)...otherwise there really is no med for this...keep me posted, i have experience with this like you...
    godspeed M.....play some ball with my goldens Beau, Maui and Lambeau, who are living the good life at the rainbow bridge!
    xoxo
    what a day for you.....

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  19. I'm sending you a hug and wishes for you to feel at peace with your heartache healed. Take good care of yourself.

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  20. My,oh my what a day. After meeting you Maguire enjoyed a wonderful life to the very end. It seems he gave and received love in equal measure.The greatest tenderness is knowing when it's time . Thinking of you.

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  21. Dear Kim
    Each time a dear furry companion in cyberspace has left for the rainbow bridge my heart aches for those who have so lovingly cared for them.
    My heart feels so sad this morning - for you, for Maguire and for what will also face us soon.
    I am so sorry for your loss. I admire your strength in coping with this over and over again in order to give these beautiful Goldens the twilight they deserve.
    Please know that you are not alone in this. Thank you too for your candidness and for sharing your loved ones with us so graciously. It is through the words of others who are suffering that we aquire the strength to face our own struggles. Thank you for this.
    Sending love and comfort you way.
    MAXMOM IN SA

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  22. good bye lovely Maguire - Sam is waiting for you.

    Kim you know I understand - thinking of you & sending love

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  23. Ah bless you Kim, what a testing day you have had. RIP Maguire and let's hope Tanner recovers soon. Sending big (((hugs))) to you & Carl. Sue x x x

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  24. Kim I have no idea how you do it! At least Maguire has many friends waiting for him the other side. Thoughts are with Tanner!

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  25. Kim - my thoughts are with you this morning. I think MAXMOM stated it beautifully.
    Thank you for sharing the moments of happiness as well as the moments of heart break.
    Good energy for you and Tanner.

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  26. oh Kim, I am so very sorry, saying a prayer for both you, your dh and your other doggies.

    Gill in Canada

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  27. Hello Kim
    Oh dear, your poor heart is so sad. You are one fabulous person - so strong and so faithful to those who you care for. Their needs are your best interests and you care for their every needs
    I wish I could come up there and give you a big hug (((HUG)))
    Take care
    Cathy
    BTW I now have a new blog - drop in when you have moment. I'd love to see you http://stillwaters-cathy.blogspot.com/

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  28. Kim,
    You and Carl truly had a hard day.
    I feel that you made the right choice for Maguire because his quality of dogie life was really being compromised not being able to run around with the other Labs, would have broken my heart.
    I will light a candle for him this evening and I'm sending hugs and warm wishes for Tanner.

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  29. Woof! Woof! Our hearts is breaking too with your loss. Truly admire your strength. You've given Maguire (and all of your Goldens) such great LOVE. Sending my Golden Healing Thoughts to Tanner. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

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  30. oh the whirl of vets visits...we all know them so well....chin up
    x
    ps I love cops!!!

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  31. Kim,
    My heart aches for you and Carl.
    RIP, sweet Maguire.
    Sending healing thoughts to Tanner and hugs of support to you,
    Kit

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  32. Very sorry to hear the news about Maguire, although it wasn't unexpected. Still, that doesn't make it any easier to bear and his loss is keenly felt. May you receive peace with his memory and the knowledge that he got so much love from you.

    Liz

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  33. Kim, I'm absolutely heart-broken for you: what an awful, awful day. Sending you, your family and Tanner healing blessings.

    God speed Maguire to the Rainbow Bridge.

    Shirl x

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  34. So,so sorry Kim.My heart is breaking for you too.My thoughts are with you,your family and of course healing thoughts for dear Tanner.
    Bonny has welcomed Maguire at Rainbow bridge I am sure of that.

    Bellaboo :0)

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  35. Oh Kim. Oh how sorry I am that you had to bear this awful, awful day. You are so brave and incredibly articulate in describing what your heart is feeling. Run free dear Maguire - may your sweet Mom's' candle light the way. And Tanner - sending huge amounts of golden vibes and prayers your way. Kim - you are doing all that is possible for all your dogs - I can't tell you the huge amount of admiration I have for you to be sharing your home and love with these older goldens (and terrier...) -
    Sending tons of love to you,
    Sammie and Mom

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  36. We're so sorry to hear about Maguire crossing the bridge, our thought and prayers are with you.
    Hugs

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  37. Kim,
    We are so sorry. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your doggies. Hope Tanner recovers soon.
    hugs and kisses
    Thor and mom

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  38. Ms.Kim and family,
    Our deepest condolences on the passing of Maquire. You gave him a GReat year and a half that he otherwise might not have gotten. You sorrow today is the price of his happiness this last year and a half; well worth the cost. We will light two candles; on e for Maquire to light his way to the Rainbow Bridge and one for Tanner to light his way to recovery. Our prayers are with you and all we can say to you is "Thank You and GOD Bless You." We too know the pain and we know the joy the proceeds it. We commend your outlook on senior rescue; probably cuz we're mostly all senior rescue. OK, we've got a couple of junior rescue in the pack too. We know that you've read this before,but we always send it along as a tribute to those that go before us:
    The Last Battle
    If it should be that I grow frail and weak
    And pain should keep me from my sleep,
    Then will you do what must be done,
    For this – the last battle – can’t be won.
    You will be sad I understand,
    But don’t let grief then stay your hand,
    For on this day, more than the rest,
    Your love and friendship must stand the test.
    We have had so many happy years,
    You wouldn’t want me to suffer so.
    When the time comes, please, let me go.
    Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend,
    Only, stay with me ‘til the end
    And hold me firm and speak to me
    Until my eyes no longer see.
    I know in time you will agree
    It is a kindness you do to me.
    Although my tail its’ last has waved,
    From pain and suffering I have been saved.
    Don’t grieve that it must be you
    Who has to decide this thing to do;
    We’ve been so close – we two – these years,
    Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
    - Anonymous
    Run free Maquire, lift your leg wherever you choose. Say HI to Old Bear Dog, Rusty, Penny, Chance, Gordon and Kodi (please don't chase her - she'll scratch you.) Put in a good word for Ms.Kim and Mr. Carl with the MASTER. You'll be with them in their hearts forever.
    - TBH&K

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  39. May peace be with you during this time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  40. Dear Kim
    I'm so sorry for your loss of Maguire - he joined my Keelee on the same day we let her go (but in 2008). May his memories remain with you always and may he run free from pain & suffering. My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family during this difficult time. Good luck to Tanner too & God bless you for fostering seniors.
    With deepest sympathy,
    Nadine, Apples & Neeli

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  41. We are so sorry to read of your loss of Maguire. We have visited you a time or two before, butnot left any comments. We are very thankful that you care nough to take in these older woofies and give them great lives for their remaining time here on earth.

    We will be purring for your hearts to heal and also for Tanner to recover.

    Meowm Rhonda, Junior and Orion

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  42. We are so sorry that we never got to know Maguire. Our hearts are breaking for you.

    Love ya lots
    Maggie and Mitch

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  43. O my gosh, Im so sorry you had to let your boy go. Massive hugs for you right now. I hope Tanners sickness get better soon, I think you need a holiday, Australia sounds good right? xx We are here for you x

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  44. I understand so well the love of old hounds--I take in senior beagles. It's such a short time to have them but knowing they had a wonderful life and love at the end is worth all the moments with them. Of course 16 or 20 years is too short. My beagles and I send hugs to you. Maguire was so lucky to have you.

    love,
    River's mom, River & crew

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  45. After sobbing in buckets today for darling Maxdog of South Africa and after reading your comment on my blog I came here to leave my respects for your Maguire.

    You are doing now what I intend to do when the time is right - open my home and heart to seniors. May God bless and soothe your aching heart and may God grant Tanner the blessing of renewed health.

    Maguire - well - I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that he knew he was loved and loved deeply. That is all any of us wish to have and to feel at the end of our Circle of Life.

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  46. You are amazing. I don't know how you do it. I'm so sorry about your sweet Maguire, and we are thankful he got the spend the last part of his life in your loving home. We pray all will be well for Tanner and that happier days will be around the corner...

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Speak--I really enjoy your comments! Thanks for stopping by today!!