This morning I have something to say that has nothing to do with the dogs...It's all about me...I'll start with telling a secret that I don't tell very many people. It's that I love Christmas. It's my favorite time of the year. I love sending and receiving Christmas cards and little packages in the mail. I love the magic, and the glow that everything has, and that for one small part of the year, people are willing to give and to create joy for others. But here it is, less than two weeks before Christmas, and I'm not feeling it. I have looked within myself to find that inner child who loves the lights and the songs and the giving and you know what? She seems to be sleeping. Or maybe she wandered off.
I don't know quite why it is, but I am just not excited about Christmas this year. I've not put up a single decoration, we don't have a tree, and I haven't done any of my shopping yet. I've not even baked anything. And while I've enjoyed reading about the traditions, plans and memories so many of you have, deep down, I'm just not enjoying the season this year.
Maybe it's because I'm tired. I feel as though I've spent the last few months running, filling every spare moment of my time. I have been better about saying no however--I actually turned down taking in a 13 year old Golden last week. But my free time seems to be packed full. I keep telling myself it's only for a few more weeks, and then things will calm down. But I'm starting to realize that there is no calm. Finding some 'extra' time right now will get to be a little more difficult because for the rest of the year to I'll be working every day because another co-worker will be off. Carl is also working nights, which includes Christmas Eve and day. I know I'll continue to be in a mad rush.
So I don't know if any one of these things, or a combination of all of them is keeping me from getting in to Christmas this year. But really, if we were to skip it all together, I kind of think I'd be okay with it. But I'm really hoping that I'll get into the mood this coming week. I pick up my cards today and I have some plans to do a few things. Maybe that'll help. We'll see.
I really hope that you're getting ready and waiting for Christmas morning, with better spirits than I am at the moment. However, being the eternal optimist I have to believe that for me this will all change. Stay tuned...