Friday, September 27, 2013

Sunny: A Bittersweet End and New Beginning

Some of you were able to read between the lines in my post this past Saturday about Sunny.  Yes, he was supposed to be euthanized on Monday.  Because Sunny belonged to the rescue, it was their decision to make.  We all know that we unfortunately live in a litigious society.  Knowing that you have a dog like Sunny who has "a history" and is one that you have been told by a trainer may bite again, and cannot be safely placed in another home, is a liability to a rescue.  Having served on the board of the rescue for 4 years, I respected and fully understood why the decision was made and as Sunny's foster home, I was willing to follow through on their decision, or so I thought I was.

I found that it ripped me (and Carl) apart inside. We are only supposed to be the foster home that takes in the senior dogs and gives them a good home for whatever time they have left.  We are not the ones who are supposed to have to support a decision to euthanize a dog that sleeps by the bed at night. Who is so happy to see us when we get home, gets along well with the other dogs (and the cat) and has been living with us for nearly 3 months.  I don't know how many of you have ever had to euthanize a pet for reasons other than illness or old age, if you have, you know what we were going through.  It’s hard enough to euthanize a pet when they are ill and you know that you are easing their pain.  But it is much harder to do it when it involves a dog like Sunny who has many good qualities, and you aren't totally, 100% convinced that it's the right thing. The decision to euthanize Sunny followed me around like a huge dark cloud, it was totally consuming.  And so when Monday morning came, I did the only thing I felt I could do and that was to call and cancel the appointment.  I contacted the rescue and told them what I'd done.  Of course they were not happy with me and we were given 24 hours....  (I will add that I think in doing this, I pretty much got us 'fired' from our 14 year fostering career with the rescue.)  

I will skip to the end of the story and tell you that the board of the rescue voted to turn Sunny over to Carl and I.  We signed papers releasing the rescue from any and all future liability and responsibility for Sunny and he has become a permanent member of the gang at Golden Pines. It was a bittersweet moment when I unceremoniously removed his rescue tags from his collar.  Carl and I know that there may be a time when we will be making the decision to let Sunny go because of his behavior. But it will be "our" decision alone to make and not a board of directors.

And so Thursday officially began Sunny's new life and another chance.  I feel strongly that he deserves that.  I also feel strongly that things are how they are meant to be and I am finding great peace in that.

E-TOWN KY: 137 visits by 9/29

68 comments:

  1. Oh my god my eyes are full. .......I will be praying and praying all will go well...you are the best best people on earth..
    Please give beautiful sunny a soft kiss from me....what a gift you are to these poor sweet doggies....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kim,
    Thank you both!!!
    I know the decision you have made is also a hard one but I too feel you have made the right one. In time this behavior problem may change and you are giving him this time. I wonder if Sunny can sense this. Dogs are so smart that I'm betting He can.
    I hope Shadow and him become close pals.
    So glad you also had a nice trip.
    Take care and have a great weekend with all your crew.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Kim! This is so beautiful! I wish Sunny many many happy years full of peace. It sounds like he is in the right place and loves his new family.

    Oh you have a big heart my friend!
    Hugs!
    xo Catherine

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kim, you and Carl ROCK!!!

    I have been on the board of two rescues, and I know the behind-the-scenes of how one works. Decisions made for the greater good, etc., etc. Sometimes it's straight forward and one's conscience can be at peace. Other times, like with Sunny, turmoil reigns. (I'm having a problem processing why his appointment was made for a WEEK after the Board decision to euthanize, and that he stayed in your house until then.)

    I pray that you and Carl can bring Sunny to a point where he is more trusting in what he perceives to be scary situations where he thinks he has to defend himself. I also pray that the rescue realizes that good foster homes, especially those who welcome seniors, are a thing to be cherished.

    (the rest of the story ... I am no longer on the Board of that rescue, nor do I belong to the rescue at all, because I was removed for refused to rubberstamp the director's decisions and I thought for myself. Welcome to the club!)

    ReplyDelete
  5. ... adding: I hope Sunny will teach Shadow that it's not okay to mess with the cat.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good decision! I had guessed 'between the lines' what you were hinting towards before, and like you accept that certain decisions have to be made for the best. In the case of Sunny, however, I feel totally and completely that you were right...even if it is just for now. To give him longer with the gang, who he gets on with. It would seem 'the only issue' (if I'm right) was the getting hold of his collar and him biting the person who grabbed him...so now, you know the issue and can work around it. Hopefully:) I know you have a helper who gives the dogs a 'break in the day', at least they will be aware now, or perhaps there may be times you will need to use a mussel? not ideal I know and some people hate them. We had a rescue dog once (have to say he was a TOTAL nightmare!..far more than Sunny) - we worked around it and used a mussel, which bless him, he accepted. It wasn't being cruel using it, it merely told him 'hey you can't get us' and as I say it worked for us. We used it for a few years and then when he got old, he realised life was okay and we didn't need to put it on him. For a rescue dog that could have left us with bad memories, he has left us with very fond and wonderful memories.

    ReplyDelete
  7. whoops! sorry about the type-0's I meant MUZZLE. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. When I read your post last week I knew that was what the decision had been. I couldn't even find the words to comfort you as I have been in that position twice and as you said it follows you around like a dark cloud. In my case it was a dog that could not get along with other dogs but was wonderful with people, at first I was trying to help her get over her detest for other dogs (she had a terrible past of neglect and abuse, all strikes against her) and during that time she injured one of my dogs badly and me even worse, had two surgeries and months of rehab and still a hand that doesn't work quite right anymore. I fostered her for 18 months crating and rotating in my huge pack household. It was the most stressful 18 months of my life. The rescue argued back and forth what to do with her, we looked for a single dog household but those are few and far between when you are looking for a dog savvy family. As the months went by she was exhibiting more issues from her isolation. And to top it all off she had one other final strike against her she was a pitbull. How much she loved people is what made it all so difficult. Ultimately I made the decision to let her go and I'm still living with that decision, it was 3 years ago and hurts as bad today as it did then. You guys are wonderful to give her this chance and I'm praying for you guys. Sunny's situation is a bit different and you guys are SO GOOD with the dogs that I feel confident you guys are going to make this work. If my sending you good thoughts has anything to do with it all will work out. <3

    ReplyDelete
  9. You made the right decision, but then you know that... Sunny deserves to live out his life. Pups do have a way of worming themselves into our hearts, don't they? XOX

    ReplyDelete
  10. With tears rolling down my face of happiness I type this comment. I am so so so happy you and Carl both have decided to keep Sunny. I knew when I first started to read the post that you were not going to let this happen. Destroying Sunny would not be something that you would let happen. I am hoping that Sunny realizes what you and Carl have done for him and that he trusts you both. Thank you for sharing such a happy ending.
    Have a great weekend. Ana

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh my gosh, what a heart warming post this morning. I hope Sunny figures out that he's not going to be hurt and relaxes on the behavior issue. There is more than one dog trainer in the world and I suspect others might think there is a chance to turn this around. I can hear in your words that you are now at peace with this decision, even if it means parting ways with the rescue. You are a wonderful dog mama!! xo

    ReplyDelete
  12. Over and over again you fill me with awe at the greatness and goodness and generosity of your heart. I am so, so pleased for Sunny - what a wonderful beginning for him. Yay!

    And good for the rescue for listening to you and doing the right thing in turning Sunny over to you. It's not always easy for an organization to bend their own rules, especially with the possibility of a lawsuit looming over their heads.

    ReplyDelete
  13. three hanky thank you

    how lucky you are to have such a loving and caring husband
    bless you both

    ReplyDelete
  14. I was wondering if that was the decision about Sunny, and glad that you did what you knew was the right thing. If the rescue decides to stop having you foster dogs, it is their loss, and not yours. You are a saint who does God's work taking care of these poor unwanted creatures and I admire you so much.

    Daisy's Mom, Heidi

    ReplyDelete
  15. I too knew what you were hinting at about Sunny last week and was heartbroken for you. I'm glad to see that you and Carl have decided to keep Sunny and let him be the sweet boy he is (most of the time). Maybe in time he will change his ways. We can only hope and pray for that. Either way Sunny will know what true love is thanks to you.

    Cindy

    ReplyDelete
  16. From the bottom of his heart, Sunny says Thanks for giving me my life back!
    I echo this a thousand times over!

    ReplyDelete
  17. My dear Kim - just when I think you have reached the pinnacle of your kindness and generosity of spirit you go and reach new heights by doing this!

    No one would have blamed you if you had followed the decision of the board, but we all thank you from the bottom of our hearts for giving Sunny another chance at life - a life made richer with you, Carl, the other goldens and your cat. I wish with every fibre of my body that this sweet soul will be able to learn that, despite all that he has experience previously, he need not fear you and that life is GREAT!

    Surely the rescue people will not have 'fired' you?! If they have then they have been foolish indeed.

    I wish I lived nearer to you and Carl - I would love to drop by and give you both a hug.

    xxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  18. A gals gotta do.. What a gals gotta do x

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sunny is one lucky dog and I hope he behaves himself to show his gratitude.
    Doing the deed is never easy and I hear you - you were the ones that had to do it, not the board
    Love Leanne

    ReplyDelete
  20. You sure know how to get to me! Thank you so much for giving Sunny a chance. You two are so special.

    ReplyDelete
  21. You have been so brave, and if anyone can help turn Sunny's situation around, it is surely you! I hope all goes well.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear Kim, you're a good person. It's great that Sunny got a second chance. I hope everything will go well.

    ReplyDelete
  23. What an amazing thing you have done, so happy that Sunny has yet another chance. We prey things go well for all of you. What a brave and selfless thing you've done!

    ReplyDelete
  24. You have worked too hard for them to not have a "vote". Glad you stood your ground.

    ReplyDelete
  25. What a beautiful post. You are so amazing to make this difficult decision. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am so glad you followed your hearts, you and Carl. We have had two dogs over the years that could not be around people safely. The difference for us was that we could isolate them from people. No matter how much love we gave and how much we worked with these dogs, they were too traumatized to change, but both lived with us for a very long time and died of natural causes. I would get a great muzzle for the vet visits and if people are coming by. One of those leather cage-like ones.

    I hope you don't mind me sharing this, I can tell how much you care for Sunny and I just want to keep him safe from himself. Of course he may be a completely different situation and you may be able to help him trust again, if anyone can do it, it would be you.

    ReplyDelete
  27. bless you, bless you, bless you for giving him a chance to reside in your home for all the time he has. i know it is a risk. since you and carl are familiar with him, and your dog-walker/watcher, too, i hope that he can adjust and relax. i had hoped there could be a farm he could be homed to - one where he was free to run w/o leash, but even then, there are vet visits and vaccines that must be given, so that's not really a fix either. thank you for your huge heart.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Oh, Kim, I just remembered that he will bite you too if you touch his collar, so I guess the muzzle would't work. Sorry, but one just comes to care so much for your dogs.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh Kim! Thank you thank you thank you! I had a feeling that he was supposed to be euthanized, but i held on to some hope. Now i'm sitting here sobbing. Not because i'm sad. I'm relieved. Happy for you and Carl and Sunny. Optimistic beyond measure. You and Carl make this world of ours a better place. He deserves a chance to be loved and cared for by people like you two. Many hugs for you and Carl and Sunny and his canine brothers and sisters at Golden Pines! xx

    ReplyDelete
  30. I've never had to make that decision though I've had to consider the possibility in a couple of cases. I think I would make the same decision you did even though I'm currently nursing a pretty bad bite on my ankle. I hope it works for all of you.
    Sue

    ReplyDelete
  31. Sweet Kim and Carl.
    You did what your heart led you to do, and that is most important.
    With tears in our eyes also- we read your words,,, and felt your anguish-.
    You are giving Sunny- love and more time-one day at a time,, thats really all that we have is-- and we live it the best we can.
    We admire you for your decision,, and we send so much love to you- we hope you can feel it.
    love
    tweedles and moms

    ReplyDelete
  32. I wish you all the best and hope Sunny can get past his insecurity . That's all any animal needs is love and guidance . Miggs sends the clan big sloppy kisses . Have a good weekend !

    ReplyDelete
  33. Bless the both of you, thank you so much for giving Sunny a loving home and giving him a chance...My little rescued Shih-tzu was in horrible shape when we got her and she bit Cam many times but I could not give her away for she was scared and who knew what this little dog endured through abuse, broke my heart. She has grown to trust us and loves us both, no more biting, pray that Sunny knows you both love and care for him. ....You are such a wonderful person and I am so proud to call you my friend, Hugs Francine.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Aw Kim, you big softy...good for you! I would have it any other way.
    The Rescue would be very foolish to let you go!

    ReplyDelete
  35. So happy, Kim. We thought the big E word was what you were alluding to, but didn't want to mention it. Sunny does deserve the chance and we know you'll do everything for him.

    Can't imagine that the rescue would fire you anyway. It would be like shooting themselves in the foot.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    ReplyDelete
  36. It is a huge decision that you and Carl have made - an amazing decision to give Sunny a second chance, but I know it is based on love and your experience of having Sunny with you for the last three months.

    I hope though time with you, Carl and your pack, Sunny mellows and has a long and uneventful life with you all, and that doing what you both think is right is rewarded by seeing him happy.







    ReplyDelete
  37. Yippe Kim and Carl! I so undersand the liability thing but I'm so thankful you are keeping him. It may never become an issue with him again. Way to go friends. Here's wishing him a long happy life with the pack at Golden Pines.
    Hugs, Noreen

    ReplyDelete
  38. Oooooooohhhhhhh Kim!!

    I am crying... bawling, as a matter of fact... as I type these words!!

    I am grateful for you in Sunny's life, that you felt called to save him from being euthanized on that fateful Monday. But at the same time I am sad that you had to make this decision & now carry the burden of it. You know that I know what you're going through... we had the same thing with rescued "Francis". While it's wonderful that Sunny is safe from euthanasia (for now), the burden is still heavy to carry for you, having a dog in the household that could bite.

    But at the same time, you know his triggers. It's that dang collar!! I'm guessing that a shock collar did that to him... a shock collar that was on for years.

    Don't stop looking for the ideal home for him & keep that person "in your back pocket" for future reference. Cos if/when the time comes for him to *have* to leave your home, it would be nice to have another person (or two) lined up already... rather than to have to start searching at the last moment.

    I've rescued enough to know... while it's a wonderful story to read about & everyone can smile & shed happy tears about it, as they then go about their own normal routine, your work is just beginning. I will keep you ever so tight in prayer, dear animal-loving friend, that all goes smoothly.

    I'm praying Sunny just may take the "cue" from the others animals & one day settle down about the whole collar issue. But for now, I'd steer clear of that "subject" with him. Find some other way to teach him not to get up by the counter, etc. rather than pull down on his collar. Perhaps say: "Sunny... DOWN!" and then give him a small treat. Positive reinforcement rather than negative might be the key with this boy.

    The fact that he's 9 years old already helps... at least in my rescuer's mind it does. When we rescued Francis he was only 5yo. That seemed so incredibly young yet & the years ahead looked like they stretched out for miles. But as it turned out, he didn't live nearly long enough (6 more years) for the woman who finally took him & gave him a good home. The same will be for Sunny too.

    As I said before.... it's just a matter of finding that perfect home for him. While your LOVE is more than perfect, your situation may not be as ideal as someone else's. I'm envisioning a total "animal person"(like you are)... retired or stay-at-home... fenced-in backyard with access to it from house... Sunny being the only animal in the home... etc.

    That person is out there. It's just a matter of finding her. In the meantime, Sunny is safe, fed, watered, loved, & respected for the scars that were left behind by his previous owner. What more can a beautiful guy like Sunny ask for?

    Love you Kim!!!

    ~Andrea
    XOXOXOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
  39. So happy you are giving Sunny another chance. I was fostering a dog who had been adopted out and returned twice (both times within 24 hours) because she growled a lot and attacked a pet bird (who had stupidly been let out to roam free). Unfortunately, that got her branded as "aggressive". (One person who returned her made her sound like Cujo.) There was mention by the rescue that she would no longer be adoptable and might have to be put down. I knew she could be completely fine in a calm home with good direction. And I was right. She is now coming up on her one year anniversary as a foster failure and every day I think how all of those people missed out because she is such an expert snuggler.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Kim, thats an amazing story. I think you did the right thing.Putting him to sleep in those circumstances, when he was doing so well in your home-would have seemed like a punishment for his past.
    Maybe in the future, you will feel its the right thing to do for him but until then-you have given him another chance- and he has the greatest chance he could ever have in your home, with your doggie family.I am hoping and praying he will be worthy of it. Sending him big kisses from my two retrievers xx

    ReplyDelete
  41. I should add that my parents had to have our 3 year old Newfoundland put to sleep when I was a teenager.He was a wonderful family dog and he loved us but for some reason he developed a nasty streak...it would come out of nowhere, without warning.His eyes would roll back into his head and he would turn.It was terrifying and then 5 mins later he would be our normal dog again.

    My Dad told me that he and the Vet were both in tears when they let him go but they knew it was the right thing to do. He was too much of a danger, especially given his size.I really hope it doesnt come to that for Sunny xx

    ReplyDelete
  42. I'm a firm believer that any dog can be re-trained. And given that Sunny has only this one really bad habit, I think you can do it. That said, I also can understand (as I know you do) the reluctance of the board to allow a biting dog to be adopted. Best of luck to all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Thank you for giving Sunny a chance. I know it wasn't an easy decision and I know the road ahead won't be easy. I am sending all positive thoughts that you will find a way with Sunny.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thank you Kim for giving Sunny another chance. I figured that what was going on. Its not going to be easy and he will take some managing but I know you will give him the best chance at a full life.

    ReplyDelete
  45. You guys made the best decision. Give Sunny a hug from me!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Kim, I am so proud to know you and Carl. We all know the road ahead for Sunny may not be easy, but if any one can do something to help Sunny, it would be the two of you.

    Have you tried a leather harness that would fit well beneath his neck? Perhaps a leather worker could customize something.

    Lots of us will rest easier tonight knowing what you have done.
    The rescue would be fools to "fire" you. I can't even imagine them doing that. My prayers are with you an your dog pack and Sunny. I think it will work!

    Cheers and hugs,

    Jo

    ReplyDelete
  47. What an extraordinary ending to the story and what a great post to wake up to at the start of the weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  48. I wish you all the luck in the world Kim!!!
    Sunny I wish you luck too !!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Kim, this is wonderful news. I am so happy for Sunny! I hope over time Sunny's disposition becomes more like the gentle Golden's that we all know and love. He has to know he has a loving home now. Always great to read a happy ending. Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Thank you thank you for making such a brave decision! Shame on the rescue if they do not use your foster services anymore because of the compassion and love that you showed. I understand their position, I truly do. But hopefully they can trust in you enough happy new life to Sunny and big hugs to you

    ReplyDelete
  51. Thank you. I am so grateful to you and Carl. Thank you cannot be said enough. It is called integrity. Jesus told us that if we follow him, we are to be no part of the world, just as he is no part of the world. This means we follow christian values, not worldly values. If the Rescue is mad, so be it. jehovah God knows exactly what you have done for Sunny and he is pleased.
    I did not read between the lines, and my insides have been turned inside out thinking Sunny might be put to sleep in death. When I read your post, Monday and knew that was not his fate, I could breathe again.
    I don't think it is bittersweet, because he has a chance now. I know you and Carl will do everything in your power for him. I think it is only sweet.
    Both of you are in my prayers.
    Gus' Mom

    ReplyDelete
  52. Hi Kim - I am so proud of you for making that decision, especially in causing issues for yourself with the rescue board. I have had a dog with a difficult temperament in the past and although he was only aggressive with other dogs, it was always a worry and we dreaded being forced to euthanize him but luckily we managed to keep him safe from himself. Sunny is a beautiful little boy - you can see it in his eyes and expression. Sending lots of doggy licks from Luigi puppy. Lily and Luigi. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hi Kim, good luck mate with Sunny. You know I admire you and Carl totally. This post bought back many memories for me. I look forward to seeing more of Sunny and hope he overcomes his issues with your help. No worries, and love, Carol (and Stella and Rory)

    ReplyDelete
  54. I knew Sunny would find the perfect home and I am so glad that that home is with you :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. Dear Kim...you and your husband are the sweetest people in the whole wide world!! I am thrilled for all of you and so happy that you went with your gut! May you all gave a happy and harmonious life together!! Blessings to you all! Xo Jeanne

    ReplyDelete
  56. You guys ROCK. Simple as that.

    Rubies mum xxx

    ReplyDelete
  57. I can't even imagine. I really can't. It's so hard to make the decision to euthanize anyway. We had a cat with lung cancer and I could tell one evening that his lungs were no longer closed so it had to be time - he couldn't hardly breathe. He screamed and held onto me, not wanting to go. It was awful but I knew what kind of pain he was in. I can't fathom having put him down when he was first diagnosed, as we were told others had done for their animals. He had another 1 1/2 years of really good life. How can you take that from them? I'm sure it was so difficult to make the decision you made but I'm sure you would have thought about what you should have done every single day. Good for you for actually doing it, despite the potential consequences. I'll tell you, as I've said before, I give you both a lot of credit. I don't know how you do it. Thank goodness you are though. :)

    ReplyDelete
  58. Bless you and your husband. I just hope that Sunny will soon realize that he is safe with you and his anxiety will relax. I always thought he had a "I'm sorry" look on his face. (((hugs, Kim)))

    ReplyDelete
  59. I think that you made a decision from the heart, one that was good for both you, and Sunny. The board might only be looking at paperwork, and reports, you have Sunny in front of you.

    Here's to all being well in the end, if anyone can give Sunny a great and loving home it's you, and your husband.

    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  60. Oh Kim!I hardly can think of anything much to say...
    Just that I am glad I know you, glad you are my friend and so proud of the person you are.

    Bless you both.

    Huge hugs to Sunny. I truly wish and pray he will find the peace he seeks with you.....

    ReplyDelete
  61. He is in the best place he could be. You are good dog people.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Trying to make that kind of decision is always gut-wrenching either way - it's only worse when the decision is taken out of your hands or if it feels rushed. Whatever ends up happening know we're here to help as much as we can. Nicole or I would be happy to help with recommending a vet behaviorist.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Dear Kim, You are a brave and wonderful woman. I applaud your decision, and I understand completely. I also understand that, if the ultimate decision has to be made someday, it should be made by people who truly know and love Sunny, not by a lawsuit-scared board of directors.

    I am so full of admiration for you. I feel sure that you will do your very best for Sunny, and no matter what, he will know the best days of his life with you.

    Many hugs to you and Carl.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I got behind on reading my blogs but teared up to reading this. You were courageous and made the right decision for a dog. Thank you- you make the world a much better place.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Oh good for you! I know this is a long shot, but could it be he is hurting in his neck? Maybe he is reacting from pain? Just a thought...

    Monty and Harlow

    ReplyDelete

Speak--I really enjoy your comments! Thanks for stopping by today!!