Saturday, May 26, 2018

After 841 Days - Good-Bye to Jake

~The view from our front porch on Thursday~ 
Thursday morning in northern Virginia was beautiful outside. The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and the temperature was about 10 degrees cooler than it had been in previous days. The soft-tinkle of the windchimes, the songs of the Cardinals, wrens, the eastern phoebe, and a few others were in the background as the hummingbirds buzzed around the feeder.  All that encompassed in the moment in time where I sat on the front porch with Jake and the Holistic Vet.
~Jake at Selma Mansion, February 2018~
All the good days, the fewer not so good days, the cheering Jake on, going for walks, helping him to his feet, and letting him set the pace for this chapter in his life, brought us to Thursday, 841 days from the day we first  met. His time with us had come full circle.  Even though Jake's spirit was still willing, (he even tried to get up to greet holistic vet when she came), his body had truly failed him. It was time for me to let go and to set Jake free from this life.
~Jake, November 2017~
In those tender and final moments with him, Holistic vet told me a story that I'll relate another time, but it suggests finding a color that sums up a life. Holistic Vet suggested that I find a color for Jake.  This color would be his and be a reminder of him and his life with us. All I could think of afterwards was the color red.
~My very last picture I took of Jake~ 
I picked red because I'd noticed the red on the Ruby-throated Hummingbird that buzzed around the porch on Thursday.  Red for the color of Jake's collar and leash.  Red for the elbow pads that he wore to cushion his sore elbows. Red for his strength, courage, determination and of course the bond and the love I felt from him during our 841 days together.  Red for my heart that is broken at his no longer being with us.

The very last verse of a poem by e.e.cummings that I heard for the first time today seemed to sum it up perfectly:
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Jake's heart will always be part of mine as he took a part of  mine when he left. And there are no words for how much he will be (and is) missed.
~Jake and the sunflowers, July 2017~

28 comments:

  1. I got so choked up reading this post and am so deeply sorry for your pain. I hope the color red will become the good memory that I know it will - in time. For now just know that other's know and feel your pain right along with you - hugs to you.

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  2. Kim, I saw this on FB and I'm so very sorry once again for your loss. It saddens me that life with these beloved companions ends so quickly. I know your heart is broken, but we know he is free at last.
    Hugs and love,
    Noreen

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  3. Hello, I am sorry to read about the loss of Jake. His heart is in all your blog readers. I know he is resting in peace in doggie heaven. Hugs Kim!

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  4. I do love that boy! Kaitlin and Torben's Sammy is also getting towards the end now, at 15 1/2 years old. He too is a love and they worry when to say goodbye for his sake. Bless vets that come to the house for the final moments.

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  5. I had counted those first days with you, surely he had a second life with you. A special life with you, dear friend. Good-bye, Josh.

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  6. At home with you, a beautiful view from the porch, birds singing, and Jake knowing there was so much love in that morning for him. Farewell, dearest Jake, you were so loved, and will have a glorious welcome at the bridge. XXXX to you all at Golden Pines.

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  7. Godspeed Jake. you were and are our love for you.
    my darling boy. xo

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  8. After Todd, Jake was my favorite because of his expressions. Good-bye, Funny Face. :(

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  9. All teary eyed with a huge lump . . .
    Jake was a sweet one!
    I will be missing him along with you . . .
    I like the color thing . . . red like his colllar . . .
    Jake has your heart Kim . . .
    Caring about your in your loss and grief . . .
    I liked the eg cummings verse . . ,

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  10. My heart is breaking....it is so heart wrenching saying that goodbye.

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  11. Jake was the embodiment of sweetness and love -- I saw it in his eyes in your photos. He was so lucky that you found him, and I always had the feeling that he knew it. Hang in there as Jake would want you to do... he loved you as you love him.

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  12. I'm so sorry to hear about Jake. He sure was loved and will never be forgotten.

    Cindy

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  13. 841 days of caring and love that Jake would likely not have felt if he hadn't found you. We are so sorry for your loss - we know how special he was to you. Soft woos and gentle hugs from all of us.

    Woos- Lightning, Misty, and Timber and Mom too

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  14. Thank you once again for giving Jake the best 841 days he could have had. You are such an amazing example to all of us. Peace to him, you and your husband.

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  15. I do not know how you can go through this over and over again, but I know that you are a very special person and the world is so much better because of people like you. I write this with tears in my eyes, Adieu, sweet Jake.

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  16. For you it was 841 days, for Jake it was an eternity of love and trust. A happy dogs sure provisions. And for you the knowledge that the small burst of red seen in the corner of your eye is a friend running ahead..

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  17. 841 days of grace you gave Jake. My heart ached when I read that he tried to get up to greet the vet. Sweet, gentle soul. The best. If all of human kind could imitate their unabashed love, what a world we would have.
    Words don't convey how very sorry I am for your profound loss. Sweet boy, rest easy.
    Gus' Mom

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  18. Tears here, too. Kim, I'm so very sorry that you have had to say goodbye to sweet Jake. He reminded me so much of my spaniel/retriever, Duke. Jake's photos always brought happy memories of my boy.
    Thinking of you, but know that you have done the very best for Jake, and all the beautiful dogs in your care. I too hope that I shall see a burst of red, and remember
    Jake, with love.

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  19. Sweet, sweet boy - I will miss his beautiful, beatific face. RIP, Jake.

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  20. As I cry, I think how wonderful life is because of the blessing we enjoy. Jake was truly a great blessing you shared with us.

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  21. I'm watching Bailey wander the yard, knowing her time is ticking away. I know I'll lose all six over the next couple years. When it becomes too much to cope with, I think about you and you inspire me to keep going.

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  22. You are so brave to put yourself through this every time you take on an elderly animal. They are so so lucky to find you. RIP Jake. xxxx

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  23. Jake knew 841 days of love and devotion because of you. So thankful he came to you. So sorry you had to say goodbye.
    lots of pug hugs
    Hazel, Mabel & Mom

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  24. So sorry to hear about Jake. I am sure he was loved those 841 days you had him. You have a heart of gold. Hugs, Ana

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  25. Kim.. I mad it through your post with tears in my eyes.. I am so sorry.. So sorry your heart is broken,, more than broken..
    You gave Jake the most important thing in the world... you gave him love,,, in his last 841 days that is what he felt,, every day... I know it hurts so bad,,, so bad.,
    love
    tweedles

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  26. Sending blessings to you, a true angel in my books. I found your blog when Cissy was rescued (yes the very day), you broke my heart then with the love shared, and I watched you nurse her body and soul back to health with loving care. The pain lessens, but the joyous memories are always there. Thank you for all you do.

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  27. This is so heartbreaking and I'm so sorry. Jake was a real trooper and you truly gave him one last beautiful gift of a pain-free life at the Bridge.
    Sending love and lots of hugs your way...
    ♥♥♥♥

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Speak--I really enjoy your comments! Thanks for stopping by today!!