Thursday, October 17, 2019

Letting Go - Foster Home Rehab

I've entered what I call "foster-home-rehab." It's something I made up years ago for myself after I place a foster dog with their new families. From the rescues, foster homes are given "guidelines" as to when to do follow up calls to adoptive families to see how it's going with their new addition. I've followed those guidelines, and always looked at making these "allotted calls" like therapy. There's a lot of reassurance in knowing how it's going, and it helps me in letting go of that particular foster dog. And I always tell the families that I'm part of the adoption process, and to expect these calls.  I also always add that I call them not because I don't trust them, because I do. But I'm here to support them, and good or bad, I want to hear how it's going.

This takes me to Tanner, who went to his new home almost 2 weeks ago.  I have gotten very, very limited updates about how it's going.  In very few texts messages, I'm told that they love him, he's doing great with their dog. But last week, the Mom texted me because she was worried and concerned about how it went at the vet. Apparently Tanner growled - And the Mom asked me if he'd done that when we had him. He hadn't. I texted  back to her right away that because Tanner was a stray, we don't know what his experiences have been at the vet - That not all dogs like the vet... I then waited a few hours and heard nothing back from the Mom.  I told her to please keep in touch, and to let me or their Adoption Coordinator for Lab Rescue know how it's going; that we're here to support and cheer them on.  I've still heard nothing. It's really disappointing and disheartening. I just hope that no news means that all is well.  And, I hope that I would know if it wasn't. But I'll admit, that this doesn't help in my foster home recovery therapy, because by nature, I am a worrier.
~Tanner in September - I hope it's going well~
On the flipside, there's Ginger.  It was a match for the lovely Ginger on Sunday! Semi-retired couple were so excited to meet her and make her part of their lives! Mrs. Semi-retired called me on Monday evening and gave me a glowing report about how well it was going, and how much she already loves Ginger. Mrs. Semi Retired told me how when they first arrived home, Ginger walked right up to the front door and turned around and waited for them to let her in - Just like she'd always been there.  Of course this is good news! It helps me in my "foster home rehab program" to let go of Ginger, because I could not be happier that after 287 days, Ginger has a home of her very own.
~Semi-Retired Couple with Ginger~

18 comments:

  1. Hello, I hope Tanner is doing well in his new home. I remember some of my old dogs did not like going to the vet, they were scared? Congrats to Ginger, I wish her well in her new home. HUGS to all! Enjoy your day!

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  2. We have our paws crossed that Tanner does well in his new home. It sure sounds like Ginger landed in the perfect home.

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  3. That would be very hard after fostering a doggie for so long, and then not hearing much from the new family. I'm sure Tanner is doing OK.

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  4. It is hard to let go, especially dogs that you know have had a bad time. But some people are more reticent about calling. Tanner should settle down.

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  5. I've never fostered, but we had a litter of pups who we try to keep tabs on over the last 11 years. There are two pups that we never heard from again after 6 months. We have no idea where the dogs are or if they are even alive. I know the feelings you are having. It was part of our agreement for each pup that we keep in touch with them, just to see how the dogs were doing. Some complied, and some didn't. It was scary, heartbreaking, and we worried, worried, worried about them. Especially my husband. It part of the job, when you care.

    I wish I had soothing words or answers to help, but I don't. Some people are jerks. Praying that if there is something serious with Tanner going on, she will reach out.

    (((HUGS)))

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  6. Kim, this will be so hard to be hoping for the best for Tanner, and not knowing. Maybe it was the clinic smell, or just an unknown place to be. I think, though,for Ginger, this is the happy forever we all hope for. XX from a wet morning down here in NZ.

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  7. I can completely understand how hard the letting go must be. But yet having a new family for Ginger and it sounding so spot on is such a blessing. Thank you for being one of the people who go through this process so our stray dogs can find a new loving home.

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  8. So happy for Miss Ginger and we hope things are ok for Tanner
    hugs
    Mabel & Hilda

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  9. I can understand how concerned you are for Tanner, but let's hope that all is well and he is settling down in his new home. One of my dogs often growled at the vet's but he wasn't a Lab., usually they are placid in ay situation.
    So glad that Ginger has won hearts all round, and is happy in her new home.

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  10. Thanks for sharing this. You are a very kind soul.

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  11. It's been 7 years since we got Kaci and we still update the rescue organization.

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  12. We are so happy for Ginger! How frustrating to not get updates on Tanner. I don't understand people sometimes. We would go with "no news is good news", hoping that is true.

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  13. I am so happy for Ginger!

    My parents have what I've called an open adoption with their cocker spaniel's previous human - she felt she didn't have the time to care for him properly and was linked up to my parents through a therapy dog group - so every once in a while (not often) she comes over to visit. This wouldn't work for you, really, too many dogs, but wanting occasional updates is more than reasonable.

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  14. Hi hi hi! Ojo here! That is worrying about Tanner indeed! I hope he is safe, and he feels safe! But that is good news about Ginger, hurray!

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  15. Following up as a foster parent is always crucial...my BFFs feel and the same thing. I remember when one of the fosters (a GSP) attacked and killed one of the new parent's water fowl and how concerned they were. Bottom line is, you are a great foster parent!!! Hoping Tanner is better than okay...:)jp

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  16. It's very hard - I still wonder and worry about some of my fosters. But after a couple of initial followups, I try to let go and "let no news be good news". And, of course, I stress that they should call me with any concerns or problems, and that the pup will be welcomed back here at any time for any reason. I've had a couple of returns over the years... Fingers crossed for Tanner, but, honestly - how rude of the Mom not to reply to texts asking about him! Very frustrating.

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  17. My fingers are crossed for Tanner. I sure hope that you’d find out if things weren’t working out so that he could come back to you.

    As for Ginger, my heart is swelling with gratitude that she found her place, and that you helped her get there.

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Speak--I really enjoy your comments! Thanks for stopping by today!!