|~The view from our front porch on Thursday~ |
Thursday morning in northern Virginia was beautiful outside. The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and the temperature was about 10 degrees cooler than it had been in previous days. The soft-tinkle of the windchimes, the songs of the Cardinals, wrens, the eastern phoebe, and a few others were in the background as the hummingbirds buzzed around the feeder. All that encompassed in the moment in time where I sat on the front porch with Jake and the Holistic Vet.
|~Jake at Selma Mansion, February 2018~|
All the good days, the fewer not so good days, the cheering Jake on, going for walks, helping him to his feet, and letting him set the pace for this chapter in his life, brought us to Thursday, 841 days from the day we first met. His time with us had come full circle. Even though Jake's spirit was still willing, (he even tried to get up to greet holistic vet when she came), his body had truly failed him. It was time for me to let go and to set Jake free from this life.
|~Jake, November 2017~|
In those tender and final moments with him, Holistic vet told me a story that I'll relate another time, but it suggests finding a color that sums up a life. Holistic Vet suggested that I find a color for Jake. This color would be his and be a reminder of him and his life with us. All I could think of afterwards was the color red.
|~My very last picture I took of Jake~ |
I picked red because I'd noticed the red on the Ruby-throated Hummingbird that buzzed around the porch on Thursday. Red for the color of Jake's collar and leash. Red for the elbow pads that he wore to cushion his sore elbows. Red for his strength, courage, determination and of course the bond and the love I felt from him during our 841 days together. Red for my heart that is broken at his no longer being with us.
The very last verse of a poem by e.e.cummings
that I heard for the first time today seemed to sum it up perfectly:
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
Jake's heart will always be part of mine as he took a part of mine when he left. And there are no words for how much he will be (and is) missed.
|~Jake and the sunflowers, July 2017~|