CarrieAnne Crosses the Rainbow Bridge

A mostly sleepless night as I have been awake for most of it, playing the scenario of the past day over and over in my mind.  The scenes from my vet's office as I watched them work to try and save my precious CarrieAnne.  Several times she looked at me as I told her to hang on.  The feelings that are still with me when I was told there was nothing more they could do. No time for goodbye. The dizzying numbness and heartbreak as Carrie silently slipped away.  My soul begging God to please spare her.  The moment and feeling of  helplessness trying grasp what was happening and to understand.  The feeling of heartbreak and despair takes over.  Then my mind goes back to the start of the day. Carrie was happy as we began our day.  I took her to the vet's office and kissed her goodbye.  She didn't want to go with the technician, but she was always shy that way.  Off to work, but a nagging deep inside stays with me.  The call from the surgeon telling me all had seemed to go as planned. However the mast-cell tumor was larger than they'd expected, was more complicated to remove than they'd hoped.  Carrie had awakened from surgery and was doing okay.  Someone had sat with her most of the afternoon. She was alert and "okay."  A time was set for me to come and get her.  Despite the news, the uneasiness stayed with me.  Something about it wasn't right. I left work earlier than planned, for whatever reason, I wanted to just go to the office and wait until it was time for her to go home.  On my way a call from the vet asking me to come earlier, CarrieAnne wasn't doing well.  She had suddenly developed a fever and was having problems breathing.  The feeling I'd had all day literally takes over.  I couldn't get there fast enough.  Was that feeling I'd been having for days just my typical worrying, or was it an omen telling me what was to come?  I think it was both.  The loss of CarrieAnne is truly a devastating loss.

CarrieAnne was our pack leader and had been part of our home since June of 2003.  She was a canine-sister to Sheba, respected by Todd and the others. CarrieAnne was very shy by nature, but when she wasn't afraid, she was a delightful, affectionate playful companion that was always happy, always wagging her tail. Always leaning into me when I would pet her.  Her big round gray brown eyes always looking at me for reassurance and security. I've never shared her story of rescue here on my blog, and at some point, I will write it.  It needs to be told and remembered here. But today is a day for mourning her loss.  CarrieAnne will be and is greatly missed.


God-speed my little CarrieAnne, my little cutie-pie, my little muffin.  You taught me so much, about trust and about finding joy and happiness despite being afraid.  At the Rainbow Bridge, there is no fear, and you'll be met by so many who have gone before you, including your sister Lucy who left us so many years ago.  Let them all know we remember them, and that like you, they are missed, and that we look forward to the day when we will see you again. 

   

Goldens in a Pear Tree

My days of single-parenting ended when Carl returned from his trip.  The dogs, of course are happy that he's home.  They are also more than willing to tell him all the things that went wrong while he was away.  Todd of course being a Scottie and loyal to me keeps my secrets.  

Our Labor day was a quiet one spent at home. It was much too hot and muggy to do anything outside. But I decided today was the day I was going to follow the advice of some local gardening experts and pick the unripe pears off our tree instead of waiting a few more weeks. Its been a few years since we've had pears that weren't ruined by my nemesis the brown-marmorated-stink-bug, or just had enough to pick.

~Sheba, my pear-picking-companion~

You may know that pears are best picked green, and are one of the only fruits that don’t ripen on the tree. The pears in the picture below are all “green,” and are pretty hard. But since fruit produces a natural ethylene gas, I've put them into paper grocery sacks to soften and ripen them.

Sheba and Josh have been eating the pears off the tree for weeks now. How they have not gotten an upset stomach is anyone's guess.

~Sheba and Josh, Goldens in a pear tree!~

But I cannot wait to enjoy the first ripe pear. It always reminds me of an old wives tale that I've heard over the years says that the best way to eat a ripe and juicy pear is “naked in the bathtub so the juice can drip down your chin with abandon.”  I can and will definitely promise you that if I do this, you'll not be hearing about it.  How do you like to enjoy your pears?

The Last Day of August

The last day of August and it's Labor Day Weekend. The unofficial end of summer.  

This morning there was a real thickness in the morning air and the heavy humidity caused beaded droplets on the windows. This afternoon there have been heavy storms.  Each day we are losing a little light and it's now dark at 6 in the morning when the dogs and I have our first walk of the day.

Our last week of August was filled with work, vet appointments and single-parenting, with little time for anything else. Beau went with me to the office one day.  As you can see he was really excited to have to stay in our break room.  

But we left early because he had an appointment to see the ophthalmologist, for his "eye-lift."        

~Beau, post eye-lift~

The procedure isn't exactly what I expected, but we're hopeful that the surgical staples will stay in place and ease the discomfort for the months ahead.  If not, surgery may be on the agenda for him. 

Gus also returned to the vet to have his wound checked.  He continues to get around pretty well. The healing of the pressure sore is a slow process, and the reality is that it may never completely heal.  But Gus is happy and content, and that's what matters.

Finally, there's CarrieAnne. Her surgery to remove a mast-cell tumor is scheduled for this Wednesday.  I took her for a consultation with another surgeon. The removal of the tumor could be done less expensively at a clinic that has a good reputation, and does a lot of surgeries. However, a discussion with someone made me realize that something that's just as important as the surgery is the care Carrie receives when it's done. I've known for a long time that this particular clinic doesn't always provide the best aftercare.  And because in the past Carrie has had problems post surgery, I've opted to have it done at my vet's office, where she will be monitored more closely. I'm nervous for her, but am remaining hopeful that all will go well.

~CarrieAnne, YES, that's a plant growing through our porch!~ 

I hope all is going well for you this weekend!

~The lovely little Cricket~

Test Results for CarrieAnne

The rush of life seemed to come to a full stop when I got a call I'd been waiting for on Friday from my vet about CarrieAnne.  The lab results of the aspirate taken from the lump on her chest were returned.  It was just as I thought, and just as I'd feared, it's a mast cell tumor. She'll of course need to have surgery to remove it. Because I have to balance Carrie's care and the cost together, there are decisions that will have to be made as to who will do the surgery.  I've called for a consultation with a surgeon who did surgery on Sheba, Josh, and our boy Hamlet a few years ago, who I like and very much trust.  Yesterday the vet that is doing acupuncture on Gus gave me some good suggestions and a lot of encouragement.  I'm trying to remain hopeful and positive, but in the quiet moments, I'm finding that right now, it's not easy.