Chip and My Promise to Him

Since Thursday I've been trying to find the words for this post. But they just won't come. I've wanted to tell the story of the last few weeks with Chip. But the uncertainty and trepidation that I've had about him has consumed me and I just haven't been able to.

It began a couple of weeks ago when Chip started limping and holding up his back leg.  He'd slipped a couple of times and when he got up, he was favoring his knee. But after a day or so he'd be fine. But now, his limp wasn't going away. I just knew he'd torn his ACL, (anterior cruciate ligament) and would need knee surgery. I decided last week to confine Chip.  I thought that in making him rest that maybe if it was a partial tear, his knee would improve, and maybe we would be able to avoid the surgery.

Well, Chip didn't get any better. And, having to wait three days for an appointment with Mobile Vet didn't change that. When we arrived for our appointment, Mobile Vet said without even examining Chip, that he thought that it was a torn ACL. But when he did the exam, that changed.

A single x-ray was taken and that was all Mobile Vet said he needed because he could see right away what was causing Chip to limp. And before Mobile Vet could say it, I said, "it's bone cancer, isn't it?"  He nodded his head and said that it was. It was my worst fear realized, and it was one I'd thought of, but I kept it deep inside, and didn't allow myself to even consider or say it until that moment. It was a crushing blow.....

Mobile Vet and I discussed every. single. option. for treatment and I have considered each one. Years ago, the first senior Golden we had, had bone cancer, so I know from that experience, and from others experiences, that it is a very painful cancer. So taking everything about Chip into consideration, it has taken 2 days and a lot of tears to feel comfortable about the path to take with him.

Chip will not be having surgery to remove his leg and do chemo, which is the traditional treatment.  Instead I have made an appointment with Holistic Vet for this coming week. My hope is that she has some tricks up her sleeve that will slow down the cancer, and give us and Chip more quality time. And most importantly and what is paramount is to keep Chip as pain free as we can.

Managing his pain is not a challenge at the moment, however, it will be one in the days to come. But I've made Chip a promise that we'll do our best to make his last days ones that are free from pain. And this promise is one I fully intend to keep.