A New Chapter

Hello Blogging Friends!

I'd first like to thank those of you who have checked in during my latest absence to let me know you were thinking of us. It lifts my spirits to know we're being thought of and not being forgotten. ❤

It has been a difficult and emotional time for me. Just when I thought I had some renewed focus and energy, life had other plans. Isn't that the way it always goes? 

I'm not sure where to start -- other than to say that it is all almost too much for my already broken heart. 

It began with the loss of our Black Lab Jack. He came to us about 5 years ago at 10 years old with a Golden Retriever named Shelby who passed away about 3 years ago. 

But I'd been worried about Jack because the warmer spring temps was causing his laryngeal paralysis to worsen. He had collapsed twice in a week, and was unable to catch his breath and breathe. Fortunately we were with him both times, and I performed CPR, we got him onto his feet, and even with the help of a floor fan to get air moving around him, we were able to open up his airways and he could begin breathing again on his own. He was put on medication to calm him and help with his breathing, and an appointment was made with the vet for more specific and elevated treatment that we hoped would help. 

However a few days later, as Carl was getting Jack into my van to take him to the vet, he collapsed again -- Unfortunately, despite our best and frantic efforts, we were unable to get Jack to breathe again, and just like that, Jack was gone .... 

Jack's big bossy and alpha personality meant that we really felt his loss in our household. Being a Lab, Jack would never have excluded me when sharing his love and affection. But his whole heart without a doubt belonged to Carl -- He was truly what I called a man's dog. On days that he worked, Jack's routine was to stand by the door, at about the same time each day - 5:30 PM -  and wait for him to get home. They were connected to one another and were great friends. He is really missed by all of us. 

-Jack wasn't one to share, which may explain why he could carry 3 balls at once-

And as heartbreaking as it was to lose Jack and both Noodle this year, the heartbreak continued. Three days later, and just shy of his 16th birthday, we lost my beloved Max. More than anything, I wanted him to make that 16th birthday milestone. But it was not meant to be. 

Of course I knew and could feel that Max's spark was dimming, as he began to slow down and needed our help more and more and was even sleeping longer and longer. It all made me consciously embrace each day and our moments together. 

-My last photo I took of Max-

The day that Max passed away, I knew he wasn't feeling well, and he seemed so tired.... But I ran my needed errands, and came home a few hours later to find him sleeping on his bed. I roused him, but it was easy to see that there had been a change from the morning. He wasn't in any pain or distress, and we opted to let him stay at home, on his bed. And I will confess that I decided to take a quick nap, because he seemed to be at peace and comfortable. I didn't nap for very long, and when I came back into the room where he was, Max put his head up and looked towards me. I knew in that moment he had waited for me to come back, so I sat with him, and talked to him, and a few minutes later, he passed away as the gentle sound of the windchimes on our porch could be heard tinkling in a small breeze.

Of course I dearly loved Jack and Noodle, but my connection to Max was a very strong one, and very similar to the one I'd had with Todd. Max was a constant companion and devoted (and fun) friend to us both. We have so many good and precious memories of our life together. I'm so grateful that Max had a good, long and healthy life, and it was a life of almost 16 years where he was always loved. Max was lucky... And we were beyond blessed to have him as part of our lives for nearly 10 years. 

-Todd and Max in our happy place, Tennessee-

So now it has been well over a month, and I am still grieving the loss of Max, and Jack and Noodle too. It has been too much for this old heart of mine. I have not felt like myself, and have just needed the time for my heart to heal, the best it can, and keep going. And I have to keep going, because a new chapter is about to begin at our house.... In my next post, I will tell you all about it. 

I hope you'll stop back by because I'm anxious and even a bit excited to tell you all about it.