It's around 3 o'clock in the morning, and I can't sleep. I go into the kitchen, and there's an empty place on the floor where Buddy used to sleep. That empty place, and the emotions of the day are still very fresh in my mind, and they are the reason why I'm awake at this hour and why sleep is eluding me. I realize I need to write down now everything that's tumbling around in my head when my emotions are so raw.
|~The empty spot in our kitchen left by Buddy~|
So, let me start at the beginning of this story that began a couple of weeks ago, when Buddy last saw the Holistic Vet for acupuncture. He was unable to walk that day and had to be carried in and out of the office. Holistic Vet said that she thought he'd sprained his neck. I think he must have done that by rolling over, something he loved to do. I thought he'd get better with some rest, and a little bit of time. Buddy did improve somewhat. But in judging him day to day, even before he'd hurt his neck, it was easy to see that he was losing that spark, and was struggling more and more. My heart was telling me that it was time to consider letting him go. But as always, I shoved those feelings and thoughts aside. But when Lab Rescue received the report from Holistic Vet, it prompted a phone call from my coordinator and a very frank and honest discussion. In our conversation about Buddy's needs and care, we decided it was time to let Buddy go. In going forward with that decision, I knew I would have to talk to Carl about it, and there was one more person who should know too. That was Buddy's first family.
|~Buddy, on his first day with us~|
When I first met them in August, they were very much on the fence at that time about turning him over to the rescue, and so, the coordinator and I bent a rule, and let them come to my house to see where he would be living. That meeting had gone well, and they asked if they could come and visit Buddy while we had him and I'd agreed to that. The husband and wife left the country as planned and the son, who remains in the area, did come to see Buddy. And there was no question that Buddy was happy to see him. I couldn't deny it, it was obvious that there was a connection between the two and I even mentioned it to the son.
Fast forward through the fall and I'm going to add another story to this. Buddy was available for adoption, and there was one person in particular named Angel that was interested in adopting him. Her name popped up more than once on Facebook whenever Buddy was posted, and I wondered who "this Angel lady" was. Finally, she called me. And I felt like I was talking to a long time friend. She is wonderful! We chatted for over 2 hours on that first phone call. Angel had previously had a dog with Buddy's limitations and was well aware of what it took to care for him - I thought Angel was perfect perfect for Buddy!! The only problem, if you want to call it that, was that Angel is a single lady that has steps in her house. She worried that she wouldn't be able to get Buddy in and out by herself, despite using the 'Help em up harness.' I understood, and reluctantly agreed with her. It was a decision Angel struggled with, because she really felt a pull and a connection to Buddy. Knowing that, I told her to think about it, and we would catch up in a few days.
|~Big eyed Buddy! ❤~|
A few days passed and as we agreed, a phone call came from Angel that still in this moment, brings my own tears to the surface. She had had a dream about Buddy the night before. In that dream, she said that Buddy came to her and told her that he was happy with us and wanted to stay in our home. Maybe by itself, you could discard and trivialize that dream -- If it hadn't happened on the same night that I'd gone into the kitchen in the early morning hours and there was Buddy, standing on his feet looking at me. It was unusual in itself because Buddy was unable to get to his feet on his own. But there he was, standing there, looking at me, slowly wagging his tail and smiling and his eyes were bright and sparkling. Had my brother been awake and gone into the kitchen and gotten Buddy to his feet? I don't know. I never asked. But I gave Buddy a few treats, talked to him, kissed him on top of his head, and in that one quiet and perfect moment, I felt love and happiness from him, and I also felt a connection between the two of us that hadn't been there before. When I started to go back to bed, Buddy followed me down the hallway (something he never did) and back into the bedroom, where he slept next to the bed. So, as you can understand that the next day, when Angel called and told me her dream, I felt, and I still do feel that there was truly something "cosmic" about it. In talking to Angel, we both knew Buddy was where he was supposed to be. We never had any more inquiries from anyone interested in adopting Buddy after that. Buddy was with us, and where he was supposed to be.
And on that cosmic note, I've rambled on long enough so I'm going to end this post so I can go and cry some more. But I will post the rest of Buddy's story tomorrow and tell you what has happened to him and why he has left us and is no longer part of our household.
G'night......Or is it good morning?